The Barnes Fam

A new family member.

2012-01-15T16:25:00.000-08:00

No, I'm not pregnant! But we do have a new member of our family and she will be in many pictures I'm sure....she is with us all the time. On Christmas Eve Cora opened a present from Grandma Suzanne, Papa Jim and Grandma Pat. We could hardly wait for her to open this gift. There were two cameras, two video cameras and a number of cell phones! Her response, "I love dis!"

Meet Baby Coco! She is an American Girl Bitty Baby and she makes our little girl a Mama. She comes in our car, to every place we go, we all rock her, Cora nurses her and sleeps with her every night. It is so fun to watch!

Her cheeks are so red, she was exhausted I think she finally opened the present at 10:30. Cora got the starter kit full of accessories! She loves the little bear! Auntie Monz gave her the other little doll in her arms. Cora named her Africa. Africa sleeps with her every night too!

Thanks Grandma Suzanne and Papa Jim!! You made Cora so happy!

More moments.....

2012-01-11T15:39:00.000-08:00

Those moments I want to remember? Well here are a few more.......

Here is an excerpt from our family Christmas letter.....

We just returned home from cutting down our Christmas tree with our wonderful friends. This is our 8th year of this tradition. We started out young married couples and now between us we have 11 children. The calm laid back tree cutting has a whole new meaning between loosing gloves, jackets that need to be zipped, and boots that have fallen off deep in the snot but it's a tradition! Today I looked around at the moment and took a mental snapshot. Our children are laughing, sledding, cutting down small trees for their rooms, words over presents desired are shared and I'm happy because we have wonderful friends, our children have wonderful friends and we are happy in this beautiful Montana winter land.

Moments of setting up our trees! The kids had one for their room this year. Our house was full of so much excited energy as we put up the tree, Jesse and I trying to beat out the other one by saying, "look at her," "look at him," "do you see his face," "can you believe her excitement," it was a battle of the parents we were stinkin' lovin' life that day.

The cast of characters......

*yes she wears sun skirts during the winter, she is spirited!

Moments of Asher singing at church......and 30 plus Mama's firing their cameras off, it was like a strobe light going off! Children squinting their eyes, looking out to see their parent watching them beaming with pride.....I have one shot. This Mama's camera died. Thank goodness for a desperately needed new battery under the Christmas tree!

Thank goodness we had Asher's first pre-school program to attend! I had a well charged battery and Asher brought a large crowd of supporters! He was so proud of his work....songs, poems, and a special gift he made for us wrapped with paper full of his hand prints in red and green paint. This Mama was beaming!

Daddy and Cora eager to watch.

Moments to remember.....seeing Grandma Suzanne in the audience...oh he was proud that people were there to watch....he couldn't wait to throw his arms around her!

And my favorite moment of the day? The proud little sister who kept telling Asher how great he did, even hours after we left pre-school. Sibling love is amazing!

What great moments in our little family.....captured by my camera, remembered in my mind, and stamped on my heart. Oh I love this family of mine!

Moments to Remember.

2012-01-07T20:35:00.000-08:00

Tonight as we sat in the movie theater with Asher and Cora between Jesse and I, I looked up at my husband and we both grinned....thinking the same thing, we are so, so blessed. Cora was moving every part of her body to the rhythm of the music, her pony tail bouncing and Asher was in hysterics as he watched. Two different responses to the same situation but each one equally heart melting.

As I soaked up the moment I had the thought that I have many times a week....I have to get back to blogging.

Because, I don't want to forget the way Cora says, "I soooo hunry" before bed to tug our heart strings delaying bed for her and giving us another opportunity to spend time with her or today at the mall when she wanted a treat and said, "I so soooooo hunry," in this adorable whiny voice that seriously get's me every time.
I don't want to forget that Asher said he is ready to try gymnastics after years of prompting, it may seem little to you but it's huge to us and our unique little guy.

I don't want to forget me being the best mom I could be advocating and moving schedules around to get him the very best teacher for his personality.

I don't want to forget Asher telling me that the best part of New Years Eve was spending time with Jesus and saying, "I love Jesus with my heart and with my spirit."

I don't want to forget how Cora punched her brother for something and that even though it was so very wrong and she received a consequence, there is something about seeing my cute blond 2 year old punch that made me laugh, even though I say it again - it was so wrong!

These moments made us laugh, they made us proud, they made us remember that being a parent is the hardest damn job ever but the most rewarding. These moments might not make my readers giggle or make them proud, or tug their heart strings, but they are our moments. Beautiful moments that capture our family story. And so, I return ready to write. Ready to remember our moments.

Asherism.

2011-09-17T14:57:00.000-07:00

This year Cora has joined the Awana forces at our church as a Puggle. Asher was so excited for her to begin. He looked at her and said, "Cora you are in puggles, I'm in cubbies, and soon I'll be in college!"

While putting Asher to bed the other night he looked at me and said, "Mama I'm glad you are my friend, I really am."

I'm so glad you are my friend Asher.

The life of a volunteer.

2011-09-02T15:09:00.000-07:00

On average I'm receiving 30 e-mails per day. Today I had 43, a few days ago, 67. Laundry needs to be put away, my Grandma's house needs so much work but I can't find the motivation, drawers need organizing, our kitchen has no rhyme or reason to it, our old house needs to be packed up and I have a husband and two children who understandably want my attention.

Currently I'm working on putting on a city wide leadership conference for a few churches in Missoula, I'm coordinating details for a wedding and I'm volunteering as one of the main chairs to put on the Festival of Trees for Mountain Home and a large hospital in our area. The Festival is very, very time consuming, I'm running from meetings in person, phone meetings, e-mails and a brain that is constantly thinking as I volunteer hours and hours each week for this event. It's going to be fantastic, I'm honored to have two great organizations believe in me and empower me, and I'm making great new friendships.

But, I find myself in a season where I'm juggling life, from one thing to the next and I'm possibly over committed. So, I take it a moment at a time, I choose to get on the floor and read books with my children, I choose to include Cora in my cooking projects although it may make it take twice as long, I choose to take walks around my neighborhood when I have 51 unread e-mail in my inbox. I choose to shut my computer down and watch a movie with Jesse even when I shouldn't. This choosing doesn't mean I get to let my responsibilities to my volunteer projects fall to the wayside. They still need to get done in excellent fashion.

I'm alive planning these events, especially the Festival. I'm having fun, I'm using my gifting, I'm leading and I love it! I thought that the end of summer would mean more time for blogging and more time for reading blogs but I'm not sure that it will. So I will write and post when I can.

Today, I'm catching up on Asher's real birthday.....we celebrated with family before heading off to another wedding I helped coordinate. Asher felt celebrated and LOVED his gifts. It was a day of celebration.

** So many things happening in this pictures....a messy sisters excitement, thrill from the birthday boy and a Mama happy for her boy!

Happy 5th birthday little cowboy!

Wedding.

2011-08-25T07:40:00.000-07:00

In July, Cora and Asher were in a wedding. Asher was the ring 'barrel' (most kids think it's ring bear....leave it to my kid to change it to something rodeo!), and Cora was the flower girl. Jesse was the parent on deck and I ran around and coordinated details. It was a family event!

I look at my kids with sweet awe every day, it was fun to see others look at them like that too. They saw obedient, cute, children who walked down the isle with their smiles on. They saw Asher stand up in front the entire wedding in his hot suit, but it was his choice and he took his job seriously! And although my kids have failing moments when their behavior is out of control or sassy or whiny or downright mean no one would have guessed they could act as they do at times while watching that wedding. And, that's how it should be! They get to be real in front of us and those that love and understand them the best, and we get to help them walk through life and process challenging moments, and people they meet in passing or for an afternoon, get to see what I see. It's wonderful to share, and it's wonderful to have sweet children who obey and have manners, and have fun.

We haven't walked this parenting journey perfectly by any means, but our children make it easy to be parents!

It helps when you are to busy running around the wedding like crazy to take any pictures to know the photographer. Not, like oh I've met her a few times, but really know her! And so I have great pictures from the wedding.

I'm glad we had the rehearsal to practice! We were able to get our sassy-ness out!

She looks like a mini-model with that arm and hair a-swingin'!

And here we go................

So very focused.

I love the people in the background looking at her!

And now for the still shots.....I sent my children with the photographer....who is my friend and I new they would be well watched. It was awesome not having to be there trying to get them to smile and do what they are asked. Jess was able to just do it and they behaved perfectly. It was a smart move!!

What a fun weekend! Wedding season is almost over and we have been to so many this summer. We have one more in October and it will be the BEST of the year. I can't wait!!

Party!!

2011-08-06T21:44:00.000-07:00

Today we celebrated in high Barnes fashion with a farm themed party (again) for Asher's 5th Birthday. It was a beautiful day. Our friends came at 9:30 in the morning to enjoy a Cowboy Breakfast complete with Pancakes, bacon, and farm fresh eggs. I wish I could say there was fresh squeezed orange juice...instead Organic Milk and OJ from the carton sufficed.

Jesse made 50 pancakes into the wee hours of the morning while I slept. I started yesterday feeling a bit off and soon it turned into a headache, chills, and then throwing up. It was awful. I would pull myself from the couch and get out the butter and margarine, then pep talk myself into just getting the cake started and then I would throw up. Thank goodness I have a Mama who loves me and her grandson. I had great plans to make the cow cake Asher requested but Grandma gets all the credit this year. Check out this art work!

My husband, and Mom and Suzanne made today work! It was maddening to get sick on the eve of my little guy's special party. But, it worked out and today with shaky and weak hands I still enjoyed the party, enjoyed Asher's laughter and found myself staring at him many times thinking......"You are turning 5, it's a big deal."

He melts my heart, he made me a Mama, he still stops me in my tracks with his kind eyes, he is worth all the work of party details from getting real animals, to elaborate crafts.

Kids dressed in their "cowboy best" and brought stick horses and guns and cowboy hats. We ran a race that included climbing up hail bails and jumping the fence, we paraded down the street throwing candy and the moms walked behind picking it up and the kids never new.....they really thought they were in a real parade! We lost a goat on the way, and as the kids finished the parade 5 adults worked to capture the goat and it really was work!

*Note the stick horse and gun....he ran his races with great form!

*She will never be outdone by older children! She is amazing.

Laughter caught the attention of the adults as Uncle Will began doing silly things like tripping on a chair, flipping his cowboy hat off and onto the ground......15 young children were the perfect audience for the impromptu clown act by William. And the laughter.....I wish I could bottle it up to save for a sad day. It was contagious and wonderful!

Grandma Suzanne provides a craft every year for my sweet kids' birthday. She is so gifted and both Asher and Cora love to spend time crafting with her. This year she really went overboard. Each child painted a barn, filled it with hay and even added their own animals to keep. It was awesome. Today Asher and his neighbor friend played with their barns in the backyard for hours!

Our family is blessed with an amazing community of friends who have awesome children. I loved watching Asher have a wonderful time at his birthday party, but I also loved watching his friends, who are some of my dearest friends' children enjoy the party too. There were no tears today, no one felt left out, no one had hurt feelings.....it was amazing to watch. I love all of these little people.

*Every rancher needs his own feed bucket!

It was a wonderful day.....and tomorrow we will celebrate his "real" birthday with donuts for his Sunday school class and a BBQ with family. It's hard to believe my little farmer, is 5 years old!

Asherism and a neigbors comment.

2011-07-20T09:19:00.000-07:00

This morning after tears and a desperate plea for a band aid Asher said, "I have a very bloody wound, you just can't see the blood. Trust me I need a band aid!"

I did show compassion and love but he didn't get a band aid.

Last night our neighbor came outside as Cora was riding down the sidewalk on Asher's scooter. He chose his words carefully as he asked, "How old is she?"

"Two," I replied.

"Oh, is that why she is so," long pause, "up and down, up and down? One minute she is laughing the next screaming or crying."

"No", I replied, "she is just a diva."

Jesse and I keep laughing at our sweet neighbors attempt to understand Cora's dramatic flair in life. She really, really is such a character. Oh boy.

Cora's 2nd Birthday Party!

2011-05-26T17:18:00.000-07:00

Cora loves...........

She is completely fascinated by trying them on, the different styles....she is in love. And so Jesse thought we should have a party that revolved around shoes. And what a great idea by her Daddy!

We even had a shoe station where her friends could try on different shoes or wear different shoes for the day. The 2 year old girls were in heaven!

Yes, we have a lot of shoes. Some of these are for future ages, some are Asher's and part of it is because Cora really likes shoes and so does her Mama.

We had Cupcakes.....

With flip flops and cowboy boots as toppers.

We played outside and we even had a shoe relay....

We did a craft....that I didn't get a picture of.....we traced all the kids' feet and had them decorate their shoes turning them into faces complete with googly eyes and feather for hair!

The kids loved the craft.

Cora loves crafts....and she loves chap stick and sometimes its confusing when chap stick and glue sticks look alike.

And it's hard when Mama helps other kids.

Presents were a hit! This card sang and Cora won't stop playing it! I love her face here.

I love how Hunter is helping her here. He was so excited about the present he picked for Cora!..SHOES!

Asher was so attentive to his sister all day. He is so kind.

After presents all the kids had an impromptu dance party!

Cora loved doing the birthday song....she sang along and couldn't believe the celebration was for her!

*She got this apron and hat set as a gift. She hasn't taken it off since the party. She was devastated when she couldn't sleep in it.

Blowing out the candles....

First licks and bites.....

The kids took home Party favors after a successful shoe themed party. What a fun day for my sweet girl!

Quote....One shoe can change your life....Cinderella

My sweet girl is 2! Two of the best years of my life!

Almost there....

2011-05-25T21:16:00.000-07:00

Today, we celebrated Cora's birthday with a few friends. She couldn't believe the celebration was for her! We have cleaned up from the party and decorated for her actual birthday, set up toys for her to wake up to early in the morning and we have a waffle breakfast planned complete with whipped cream and candles. I'm ready to see my little one turn 2. I thought perhaps I would be filled with sad emotions.....not knowing if we will have another baby. But, I truly love each stage of my little people's life and two is a grand age that I can't wait to watch my curious little one experience. There are many more pictures to post and the details of the party but tonight, I go to bed tired but happy and excited for tomorrow. So, I leave you with this..............

Happy Day Cora!

Asherism.

2011-05-24T14:12:00.000-07:00

Last night Asher finished his last game of soccer for for the season. I really, really want to be a soccer Mom so I'm determined to start Asher early.

Asher was the youngest player on the team. He actually wasn't old enough to play this year....but like I said I want to get him going early! See how much shorter he is?

Sometimes he got distracted.....

Sometimes he took breaks....on the field.

Sometimes he would act things out on the field when no one else was around. We would see him pretend to shoot the ball in the net and jump around like he just scored or we would see him do fancy foot moves with a pretend ball on the field. In his head he was the star! In my heart he was too.

He was always quick to run out on the field, he listened to his coach and during practice he was the best little dribbler on the team.

One of Asher's highlights was having people come and watch him. Grandma and Papa, friends, uncle Will......he loved have a cheering section.

* In Papa's arms.

And his little sister was always there to cheer him on and to take part in the snacks after the game!

After the game last night I said to Asher, "You are so fun to watch. You are my favorite boy to watch play sports. Thanks for working so hard Asher."

He looked at me with a grin and said, "Mama, thanks for being so good at Mama-ing, You are the best Mom in the world!"

Mama-ing....it's my job and the monetary pay is LOW, but the payment to my heart is like being a billionaire!!

Season Record - no wins.

2 goals scored.

But it was FUN!

Happy Mothers Day!

2011-05-09T22:11:00.000-07:00

I have a beautiful stories and pictures to post and share as a re-cap to my birthday, mothers day, and the day off Jesse gave me Saturday. I have great intentions so hopefully I'll get it done. But, one of my favorite bloggers asks her triplets these questions each year. I started with Asher this year. I hope you enjoy!

1. What is something Mama always says to you?
         I love you.

2. What makes Mama happy?
       When I smile.

3. What makes Mama sad?
        When I don't do things good.

4. What does your Mama do to make you laugh?
          Tells knock-knock jokes.

5. What was your Mama like as a child?
          Um Playing

6. How old is you Mama? (31)
          1.5 no.....13.

7. How tall is your Mama?
ummmm 6 lbs.

8. What is her favorite thing to do?
Go on a date with me!

9. What does your Mama do when you are not around?
           Uhhhh, she play with Cora. She has time with Cora.

10. If your Mama become famous what will it be for?
           For me!

11. What is your Mama really good at?
           Playing!

12. What is your Mama not very good at?
           Playing Lincoln Logs.

13. What does your Mama do for a job?
   Blogging and helping Mountain Home. (A program for young mothers I volunteer at.)

14. What is your Mama's favorite food?
   Pizza

15. What makes you proud of your Mama?
   For playing with me.

16. If your Mama was a cartoon character, who would she be?
           A princess!

17. What do you and your Mama do together?
          Have dates.

18.   How are you and your Mama the same?
           We both love animals.

19. How are you and your Mama different?
            Cause she wears dresses and I don't.

20. How do you know your Mama loves you?
             Cause I'm her kid.

21. How do you know your Mama loves your Daddy?
             Cause he is her husband and I have a sister.

22. Where is your Mama's favorite place to go?
             Farmers Market.

23. How much do you love your Mama?
   As big as Jesus is!

I have a problem.

2011-04-27T20:50:00.000-07:00

I haven't been blogging at all. I want to blog, I have things to blog but I have a serious problem. It really is serious. More on that later. I feel guilty, today I spent hours going through pictures and organizing and making a list on the blogging I need to catch up on.

So much has gone on in the last month of our wonderful life. Tax season came to a close, we spent a weekend as a family of four turning off phones and computers, while swimming and sleeping at hotel It was the perfect thing for our family. I didn't take a single picture. But yet there are so many things to post pictures about.....

Asher in the last month has a new love for jumping. This formally very timid boy is coming more and more out of his shell every day. He will talk to anyone, attempt more physical activity and has less fear.

I have Asherisms to document....like how Asher now yells, "KYLIE BARNES" when I don't answer him right away.

I have a little girl who is so FULL of spunk I daily have stories I could report. She eats spicy items we tell her will hurt and even with tears in her eyes and a napkin in her hand to wipe her tongue off with, she prevails. Prooving her parents wrong. To date she has done this with jalapeno chips, hot tamales, pickled jalapeno peppers, and crushed red pepper flakes. She doesn't enjoy it, but she is out to prove us wrong.

The outfits this girl wears and demands to wears are phenomenal. For example her obsession with Asher's shirts and pajama pants.

She wakes up with spunk almost always choosing something different to wear. Her face is usually dirty and her hair a mess. But this girl oozes with love for her brother and for life and sometimes her Mama and Dada. Her kisses are rare and usually involve a game when they are given out. But, when they freely come they are a true treasure!

Boots. Boots. Boots. This is uttered many, many times a day around here. Cora has 2 pairs she fits into, her brothers numerous pairs from cowboy boots to dickersons, and she wears them all. Easter morning we had a MASSIVE battle of epic proportions because she could not wear cowboy boots with her dress. I probably should have given in...clothes are NOT a battle I want to pick....but her white mary-jane shoes were just too perfect.

Back to boots.

We attended a birthday party for Sheila my sweet Aunt who is handicapped. Burgers and beer followed by cake and coffee at the group home she lives in. She even handed out party favors to all of her roommates.

It was a fantastic evening. My Grandma came along too....times with my her are becoming fewer and sadly soon they will end all together and she is beginning the journey of the end of life. But even at 87 she is still a beauty.

We've had trips to ranches. One for a Saturday outing and one for a birthday party. Both rank in the top 10 days of Asher's year. This boy loves anything horse, rodeo, farmer, rancher etc. He plays the part well.

One of Asher's best buds had a farm themed birthday party with horse rides, branding, stick horse races etc. It was a hit!

This particular friend happens to be our Pastor's son. Pastor Josh was heading up the stick horse game and many of the moms held their breaths and uttered words like..."I wonder how this will play out," including my dear friend and his wife! Josh and games ofter bring along a snafoo or complete chaos. Sadly I have nothing funny to report but very serious children who were out to win!

I should be blogging about the soccer team Asher joined, I have lots of action shots to prove it!

Or about the new life I had to privledge of watching be born as I played the role of doula to my dear friend. Meet Oliver. I'm in love and so is Asher.

So much to talk about and yet I have a problem.

I should be writing about new traditions that have formed like this massive Easter egg hunt with friends.

Go Get em!

Or, deep thoughts about what Easter means to me, and Easter dresses and tie's and failed family pictures yet again (full of Shadows and pathetic children)

Side Note **I have finished one month of NO pictures taken with a flash and none taken in automatic. YES!

Sassy but oh so pretty....

And finally, I should have a post about Cora entering her last month as a baby (she turns two one month from yesterday) reminiscing about her beauty, her wonderful yet spunky personality, the 100's of words she says, her utter brilliance, woes about the non-exsistent baby book for her....those are the kinds of things I should beand want to be writing about. But I have a problem.

West Wing. You have overtaken my life. You have overtaken my will to do things motherly like cleaning, and putting away laundry, and reading (I still read to the children!), and BLOGGING. Season 3 we are finishing you up.....Season 4, 5,6 7 we will conquer you and then I'll be back.

Gotta go....Jesse is awaiting me and it's a two maybe three episode kinda night.

Shame.

2011-04-08T11:15:00.001-07:00

My sweet boy has entered a new phase in life.

He is a little over 4.5. Recently when I have disciplined him I've noticed a huge change. I'm a "deal with it now" kind of mom. If there is something going on that needs to be corrected I quickly handle it by directing Asher with my words. Sometimes he will be sent to timeout, sometimes he needs a firm talk with me very close to his face, sometimes its loss of a privilege or a toy and sometimes it's a spanking.

We have lots of play dates, and we spend lots of time with family. I've always been able to quickly "handle" the situation by doing it right where we are. In the last few weeks I've seen a change in Asher especially when we are around other people. He quickly looks to his friend or the people we are around to see what they think, or he will bury his head in my body to hide. He has reached a new phase of life and shame has come in.

I want him to know that we all "blow it," that no one is perfect and that it's OK to make mistakes. It's my job and Jesse's job to train him up and help him. I want him to know that he can fail in front of others and it shouldn't matter and quite frankly to me it doesn't matter.

But, every person I know has experienced shame at some point in their life. Many of my friends are very private people and some are an open book. We are created different. We are wired different and for Asher this new feeling of shame is sadly a normal part of living in a fallen world.

It broke my heart after I realized what was happening. We have reached a new phase in life and it's my job to protect my sons heart, to respect and honor him and that means discipline happens in private. It can still be immediate by going to a different room but I need to change. Asher will still have to apologize to others, he will still have to work things out with people, we won't teach him to hide and run from insecurities but as his Mama it's my job to help in the little things and that means I don't get to just "deal with it" in the same way I always have.

Now I just have to STOP my tongue and STOP myself from my normal response. It's going to be work!

Lord, help me to remember to hold my tongue and to pull my son aside before speaking. Help me to protect him and honor him. Help me to teach him that mistakes happen and that's OK. Lord help me to be the best Mama I can for my sweet boy.

Like brother, like sister???

2011-03-28T13:58:00.000-07:00

When you are almost 2 and everyone around you uses the potty, you want to try too.

And when the person you look up to the most is your brother who has a wee-wee it can be a bit confusing.

And when you are pants are up and you can't see the supposed matching body part that's confusing.

So you gotta try and find that part and take the pants off.

And then try, try again.

And when nothing comes and still there is a diaper in the way, and your parents are laughing and pointing the camera your way you look at them like this....

Fairmont.

2011-03-26T22:04:00.000-07:00

Today we ventured off to a Fairmont Hot Spring for the day. The kids, my parents and me. We loaded up the van with bags of swim gear, food, and entertainment for the car and headed off.

It was a wonderful day! After hours at the pool, we went to eat in Butte and then came home. We will all sleep soundly in our own beds tonight!

Every time we go to Farimont it brings back wonderful childhood memories. My brother Rye and I would chant, "Fairmont Hot Springs" from the time we could see the smoke stack that is near the Springs until we reached the parking lot. It was tradition and we did if for years! And still.....as we drive up to the Hot Springs there is part of me that just wants to chant!

Growing up, once a year we would go to Fairmont and meet up with my parents friends and their children. There were lots of families invited and it was so.much.fun. Turkey Sandwiches (from our hotel room) and Nachos (from the snack bar) are immediate memories for me.

I love that we continue the Fairmont tradition with our children. And even though we didn't stay the night or meet up with friends today, it was a wonderful day.

*Cora is kind of a "gear head"....all about the options of gear but not very committal in what type of gear to use!

Well, except for the time I made Asher go down the water slide with me and the entire time up to the water slides he repeated over and over, "Trust in the Lord." The scripture verse was uttered in loud, soft, desperate, and tear filled tones. But I just knew one time and he would be hooked. As we entered the slide Asher said, "I just know I'm gonna die." We slowly went down the slide and according to my parents he exited the slide with a smile but the first thing he said was, "That was HORRIBLE." He didn't go down again. And when the smile my parents saw was pointed out.....Asher informed us it was a, "mad smile."

Cora on the other hand....would have gone down all day! She had no fear of the slide or of water. She headed for the deep end with no concern. She is still innocent and she has absolute confidence that we (Mama and her grandparents) won't let anything happen to her. Asher on the other hand, thought I might kill him on the water slide. Same parents.....two completely different children.

But oh how I love them both....my heart just aches in love for them! Today was a great day. Full of laughter, fun, play, sneaking children into the hot tubs for quick warm ups despite the posted signs of "no children 5 and under," Nachos from the snack bar, video games, Matt's burger joint, conversation with my Mom while we sat up front, and rear view mirror peaks at the kids and their Papa as we drove.

Today? A successful Saturday!

Naked buns.

2011-03-22T20:25:00.000-07:00

A few weeks ago Cora was struggling to take a nap! My sweet little one just could NOT fall asleep. She was talking and singing and moving around her little crib and finally silence came. But, it was 4:30 and if she sleeps to late she won't go to bed at night so I crept into her room to peek at her and to begin the wake up process. And this is what I found.....

So, I grabbed my camera snapped a few pictures and then grabbed my phone to take a picture to text a few people. The tired little diva slept through it all. I hoped that she wouldn't wet and I left her door open and made some noise and still she slept and slept.

Finally when it was time to get her up, I also had to throw a load of laundry in because her sheets were a bit wet.

Don't you love that she still sleeps on her knees with her buns in the air? I don't remember Asher doing that for this long and I just love that Cora does. Oh and just so you know Cora did this again a few days later.

*Note to self....always have pants on her or at least a onesie during nap time.

Spring has Sprung.

2011-03-21T15:04:00.000-07:00

Today is the first day of Spring! It's been a wonderful winter in Montana. Lots of snow, chilly days full of hot cocoa and snow men building. I love winter. I love snow. I'm sure there will be little bits of snow here and there but it will be quick to melt and will result in dramatic posts on Facebook which make me laugh.

Crocus' are poking out of the ground and beginning to bloom. Last week we went on our first trip to the park in 2011 with the Harts! It made me excited for family runs, farmers market, trips to the DQ, park playdates, and our very own BACKYARD play! Already Asher is running out the back door barefoot and entertaining himself for hours! My house is filled with muted laughter that seeps in from the windows and I find myself gazing out the window watching my sweet boy happily playing in his large, fenced backyard and I can't help get a little anxious about the sale of our house. It seems horrible to take away the joy of a backyard and move back "home." Although we are down a bedroom and we miss our furniture and the cleanliness of our house it makes me realize how wonderful a yard really is!

*See those little bare toes?!

Today as we enter the first day of spring I'm snuggling our little girl close and dosing her with Tylenol and extra nursing times as she battles a high fever and the onset of a cold. The two Asher's came in from outside asking for popcorn and a PBS show and so as they watch I write and catch up on blogs I haven't read in weeks. Our house is almost box free (as long as you don't count the basement full of storage). A dear friend of mine commented that she could tell by my lack of blogging that I'm busy and overwhelmed. She knows me well!

We are one month from the end of tax season and I'm praying that the next month flies! We are ready to have our Dada and husband home for dinners and for family walks.

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Today is Down Syndrome awareness day. The 47th chromosome is a beautiful thing. In High School I helped run a sports program at our local YMCA for handicapped adults. My aunt is "mentally retarded" (her diagnosis) and although I really enjoyed every adult in the program (even the one who exited the locker room TOTALLY naked and walked up to me in front of 5 very popular boys in my class at high school resulting in some shocked looks from them) the adults with Down Syndrome were my favorite. They made me laugh, they made me feel loved, and they made me LOVE working with special needs adults. My favorite blog, Enjoying the Small Things has a beautiful post today on this special day. You won't regret clicking over and reading.

I have many things to post of course and I hope that I can get back into the swing of things. Instead of looking at the computer with dread....knowing there are e-mails and requests that await me, dreading Facebook posts to respond too, and feeling like I can't juggle one.more.thing....I hope to pull myself out of my hole and get back into life.

Happy Spring!

Ahhhh, we made it.

2011-03-14T21:34:00.000-07:00

Today is the day!!! Our house is going on the market! The sign is posted, the house is hitting websites, fliers are being made and it's time!! After 6 intense weeks of work, perhaps the most intense I can remember we are here! It feels good. Now we just hope it sells. I'm thankful that I have a sweet faith in the Lord. He knows what's best for our family and so if it sells wonderful and if it doesn't we will move back into our little house that is sparking clean with new carpet and touched up paint. We will re-do the kitchen counter tops and fence our yard. Truly we content with what God does.

I took some pictures for our Realtor to use and I wanted to post them here for memory sake! A pretty boring post.....

Sweet Sleep.

2011-03-10T21:47:00.000-08:00

Today, Asher, Cora and I worked on the playroom at our new house and it's complete! It's a sight for sure.....shiny, floral wallpaper and pink carpet set the room ambiance and then you add a rodeo rug, dinosaurs, bins and bins of animals, guns, swords, and costumes. It's a visual disaster but it's a place Asher can play and imagine and it's space he has missed since moving.

Tonight Jesse and I continued to work away on our house getting it ready to go on the market. It's looking so nice and warm and welcoming....in a sense I want to move home.

After our work at our old house, Jesse took Asher through his bed time routine and I nursed Cora and snuggled her. Both children fell sound asleep...Cora in my arms, Asher across Jesse's chest. Pure sweetness. It's moments like those that I feel completely at peace with my sweet little family even in the midst of chaos.

Sweet dreams.

Re-cap

2011-03-07T20:21:00.000-08:00

Feb 26....my last blog post.
Feb 27th - moving day........all day. On top of moving we were cleaning out my Grandma's house...moving in on top of "stuff" just adds more chaos! My dear friend came and unpacked my kitchen....I don't know if we would have survived without Carla!
Feb 28th - I took Asher skiing. We needed a day off!
March 1st - Unpacking, a meeting in the middle of the day.....and a much needed ladies night! I told Jesse I was going to bail on dinner with my friends and he so kindly said, "Honey you, um, well, you have been a littttle impatient with the kids and you seem a litttttle stressed....um maybe you should go. So, I went and it was wonderful.
March 2nd - On top of boxes and a to-do list a mile long the two children I watch came back into the chaos.
March 3rd - Unpacking, cleaning, trying to dig out from chaos.....so tired.....and suddenly a sore throat.
March 4th - Burning throat, 2 extra kids at my house a Doctors appointment confirming strep. We moved to the Hartzells for the weekend to care for William.
March 5th - Happy Birthday Monz!!! Sore throat, Jesse gets sick, Awana Derby races and two Birthday Parties and a throat that is on FIRE! I didn't know if I would make it through the day.
March 6th - Asher has white spots in his throat....so we sit at the Now Care Clinic in the Mall for a total of 2.5 hours to confirm strep. It was awful....tears, burning throat and nothing we could do but hold him and pray for him.
March 7th....TODAY!!! We are all feeling better and Asher and Cora no longer are living out of suitcases or boxes!!

On top of ALL of this Jesse is pulling ridiculously loooooooong hours at work, we are getting our old house ready to be put on the market, and I have a very impatient 21 month old daughter. I'm so, so, SO ready for this season to be over. But I'm so thankful for a warm, cozy house to live in, friends who text and call offering help, and mostly a God who gives us peace.

Memories.

2011-02-26T20:58:00.000-08:00

First home.
Decorating...trial and error.
Painting projects.
Home repair, the lesson that every project takes longer than you expect.
Planting sod.
Miscarriage.
Arguments.
Love, lots of love.
Best friends becoming even better friends.
Grieving loss together.
Bringing babies home from the hospital.
Nursing.
Nursing sick children back to health.
Deep conversation and life changes.
Kissing.
Time out, consequences.
Praise for new milestones.
Play dates.
Tears.
Laughter.
Family movie nights....Bridge pizza and pop in our bed.
Dinner parties.
Christmas trees and wide eyes.
Family visits.
Late nights in the backyard talking.
Birthday parties.
Sibling love.
A family of 2, then 3 and now 4.
Home.

Tonight is our last night to sleep here. After almost 6 years here we have made layers and layers of memories. I'm thankful that although our wonderful home housed our memories....it's my family the memories were made with and so we move on headed for a new adventure.

My girl likes to shop.

2011-02-24T21:06:00.000-08:00

Santa brought Cora an awesome shopping cart. She loves it! On Tuesday's and Thursday's Asher has pre-school and I try and spend quality time with Cora. Sometimes we go to library story time, sometimes we play babies, we went to the train one time....but she thought that was very boring. My little girl likes attention, she likes to be with others and she likes to have fun!

So far her favorite outings with me are grocery shopping with her cart. She likes my wallet in the front just like I put it when I'm shopping. She likes to grab random things off the shelf (today it was lots of jell-o). She loves to smile and ham it up for people who notice her. And, she has never, run into anything. She has such great control of her cart and she can whip it around like a pro.

Quality time with Cora is such a treat. I love her personality and she keeps me on my toes! She is such a treasure and I hope that we have many, many more shopping trips in our future!

p.s. Next time I'm going to have to bring my good camera...my camera phone is not doing this justice!

Gigi.

2011-02-21T13:14:00.000-08:00

*Photo by Brandy Kiger

I will forever treasure these pictures. Totally peace and comfort by these sweet gigi's. I'm so thankful for them during a time of transition and moving. I literally pray that my sweet children would find peace from the Lord like they get when they are holding these treasured blankets.

Sibling Love.

2011-02-19T21:02:00.000-08:00

In the midst of chaos these past few weeks I've rarely picked up my camera. A few morning ago this sweet girl was thrilled to see her brother in the morning.

Every morning when Cora wakes up her first question is, "Asher?" or "Baba?" She wants to know the location of her big brother. If he is still asleep she will immediately put her finger to her lips and whisper, "shhhhh." And if he is awake she wants to see him immediately.

The best part is, Asher is just as eager to see and cuddle his little sister. Although Cora is usually ready to go so cuddles don't often last. The other morning they did....and so I grabbed my camera and captured this wonderful moment of sweet sibling love.

I love Asher's sweet tender hand and his look of total love for his sister. I'm so blessed to have two children that love each other. It's one of the most beautiful things of being a parent.

Total love.

Life is NOT dull.

2011-02-18T15:13:00.000-08:00

I've been putting off this post...mostly due to lack of time.

On Friday February 11th we decided to sell our house. With a goal of getting it on the Market by March 15th.

We have been contemplating the idea for awhile now and had met with our Realtor a few times but we decided to take the plunge and get it ready. It's the first house we have owned so thus, the first house we will sell. There is a LOT of work to be done. We were given quite the task list from the Realtor's of what we needed to get done.

In addition to the work on the house, I'm watching children a few days during the week, Jesse is swamped at work thus leaving me to do most of the work, we have been fighting off colds, I have a 20 month old who is very challenging right now, and we are on a time crunch.

I have moments of being completely overwhelmed and yet I'm excited for this next chapter. We are moving into my Grandma's vacant house while we sell and we will stay there for a season before we buy again. Her house has a yard, a bigger living area and free baby-sitters across the street (my parents).

Transition is the word that has defined our lives it seems for awhile from Jesse deciding to leave a job, to finishing three years of school in two, to a new job and becoming an on-line teacher, and now moving during tax season.

Thankfully many, many people have offered to help and we have a peace in our decision. We are praying for the perfect buyers to come along in a dull market. It's a long shot but we hope we can sell quickly and begin a new chapter of our lives in a new house.

Have a ball......

2011-02-10T23:28:00.000-08:00

Asher celebrated Valentines Day with his pre-school today! I had a meeting scheduled and I didn't realize the conflict until just a day before. I have attended all of Asher's parties and asked if I could skip this one.

And Asher said, "It's my party Mama....you have to be there don't go to a meeting!" And so, I canceled. Proudly writing that my first job is Mama as I sent out an e-mail to the team. Usually I feel guilty, I think about how to make it all work....but my 1st job is Mama and I'm so very, very, thankful for my job.

So, I attended the party and it wasn't special or fancy and mostly I visited with parents and Asher hardly even spoke to me. BUT, he knew I was there and that I made him number one. That's how I always want to make him feel.

Just so it's not all roses and chocolate.....we had a good "fight" in the Valentine section of Target about what to make and get for Valentines. But, we worked it out and even got a few looks along the way and some giggles too.

We settled on this:

I got the idea from here.

We added our little flair....a bouncy ball, ball eraser, ball pad of paper, and a ball pencil. It was CHEAP, fun to make together, AND it didn't involve candy.

Asher wanted pink tags for the girls and white for boys. He wrote his name on every one by himself. I love watching him write it.

Have a BALL this Valentines Day! Hug and Kiss your sweet Valentines more, I know I'm going to!!

Four and a half.

2011-02-08T16:00:00.000-08:00

Yesterday Asher celebrated his 1/2 Birthday! Because he is an August Birthday he got to bring Birthday treats pre-school. He even got to pick a little gift out and wear a birthday hat! I remember loving Birthday's...when others would bring treats to share.

Asher had a lot of ideas for his treats. They were elaborate....a rodeo cake complete with corals, bull fighters, and all the events at a rodeo represented. He thought about a hunting cake (I have no idea what that is and I'm glad he didn't land on that one!), and finally we decided on farm animal cupcakes.

We made applesauce cake cupcakes and they were delicious! We topped them with cream cheese frosting dyed green with green coconut for the grass. I'm not a baker but it was fun to make these from scratch and have time with Asher. He is eager to help in the making and eating of batter.

4.5 is a wonderful age!!! I'm thankful I get to do special little things like make treats, and help Asher feel special. What a cool little boy I have.

Meow. Happy Half Birthday Asher!

Birthday Bowling.

2011-02-06T22:39:00.000-08:00

"Uncle Will" turned 9! And so we spend the evening with him and the family at Westside lanes.....pretending we could bowl, laughing together, catching up and celebrating a little boy who is very full of life!!

Happy Birthday Will!

We have been wanting to take Asher bowling for awhile. He loved it!! We had to help him and the bumpers that pop up for the little ones along the gutters make it a very enjoyable experience. I wish that I would have had bumpers myself!

And the fact that there were shoes to fit him.....my heart melted a bit. It melts at the silliest of things.

Asherism.

2011-02-04T07:45:00.000-08:00

Our house is located very close to a cemetarty. It's beatiful and peacful. We haven't explained in deatail what it is although many times we have driven by there is a funeral going on, or people planting flowers. We walk through there looking at the statues and reading. It's the oldest cemetary in our town.

A few days a week 2 additional children tag along with us for the day. Asher A and Norah. Yes, I have an Asher B, Asher A, Cora and Norah. It's a little crazy!

In our van the other day this was the conversation.

Asher A: What is that place? (Pointing to the cemetrary).
Asher B: Oh it's just a bunch of graves. It's where the dead people go and people bring them flowers and visit them. (Said TOTALLY in a matter of fact voice....and I have NO IDEA where he heard that).
Asher A: Oh ok.
Asher B: There is a statue and it's HUGE. It's a cross, it's the most beautiful grave in the whole place. It's where Jesus is.
Mama: Asher B, you remember a lot about that place. It's fun to go on walks there. Did you know that Jesus was buried far away, over the Ocean before he rose from the grave?
Asher B: Your wrong Mama.
Mama: We could ask Daddy about it.
Asher B: No. ALL of Zula is WRONG. I know that is where he died on the cross and that is where he is buried.

And then the subject changed.

Piggies!

2011-01-31T22:02:00.000-08:00

Someone wears piggies now!!! And someone tried to chase her around and get a "good" picture and did NOT succeed.

Side note: Do you LOVE these little clips?? Head here to find them. They have a ton on sale for $1.00! These clips are awesome! They stay in the hair and they are adorable.

Cora even got to play with the computer which is totally OFF limits....simply because I was willing to do anything to get a picture.

Note PW in the back. :)

*Her part is a little off.......let's just say she doesn't love getting her hair done....thus the quick part.

I love this shot....even though the piggies aren't showing. Her eyes and lashes and concentration just captivate me.

I realized that I never blogged about Cora's 1st hair cut that was in September......and this seemed like the perfect post to throw it in with.

Long bangs

Beauty Parlor day with her God Momma.

Cora and Carla!

Thanks Carla for the first teeny, tiny, hair cut!!

1st addition of Coraisms!!

2011-01-23T21:05:00.000-08:00

I have so many things to blog and yet again find myself with so little time. But, I did have to share the first Coraism for the blog......and I know that this will be the first of many!

Cora can whine with the best of them! It drives me crazy and I try very, very hard to stay on top of it. However, I've realized that she has tricked me big time and I can hardly believe it took me weeks to figure out her little scam.

Cora likes things in her hands all.the.time. Especially little soft items. Asher's undies are a top favorite. A disposable diaper ranks up there, and her little shirts or jammie pants after they've come out of the laundry are a true obsession. It's weird I know. She also likes to leave the table with a little bit of food in her hands. I don't know if she is worried we won't feed her ever again or what......but it's a very consistent desire and one I always shut down.

Cora is always strewing clean laundry, diapers, and other little things around the house and when I pick it up or take it away from her it makes her very mad. Usually she wants the items for her baby dolls. She is so into baby dolls and I just love it! So when I take something from her she will just look at me and in a pathetic yet cute voice with a scrunched up face say, "baby." That's it and my heart is melted and she gets whatever clothing item or diaper she wants.

This has been going on for weeks. This weekend she wanted to walk around with a piece of pizza and Jesse and I told her no. And immediately she scrunched up her adorable face and in her sweet yet pathetic voice said, "baby." Oh she wants to feed her baby!! So, cute. But, we did say no.....and it was traumatic.

She loves Tylenol. She saw the bottle and when I said "no" we had a repeat of the voice and face and heard, "baby." Um, no Cora.

This is her answer for everything!! And she usually gets what she wants. She totally worked us with that one adorable word. "Baby." But, it's over now little one....Mama and Dada are on to you game! I can't believe it took me so long to figure out!

Meadow Lake I love you.

2011-01-19T21:02:00.000-08:00

We swam, ate lots of food, went to Montana Trading Coffee Co. for Latte runs, enjoyed beautiful views, played games, slept in, stayed in jammies all day long, watched movies during day time hours, made cookies and brownies, read books, played more games, jumped on king size beds, built forts, worked on our computers, spent time on the floor with baby ladies, watched TLC a lot, drank decaf coffee late into the night.......it was a perfect weekend.

I had my camera out and ready to go so that I could take lots of pictures.......BUT I only took a few and they are mostly of Ty (I hope my children aren't offended!) but it was a great weekend and we are so thankful!

Before this trip I new that Asher really liked William but it became very apparent to me that Asher totally looks up to William. When asked a question Asher would wait and see how Will would answer first. Where Will was, there was Asher too....right next to him sometimes invading personal space. Will had a little guy that would do whatever was asked of him. Right now, their friendship works perfectly both ways. Of course they can butt heads and they are both strong but I pray that Will would be a leader in Asher's life!

Time with Tyler was one of the best parts of the trip. It's hard to have a niece who is far away. Beth spent a lot of time skyping with Tanner. Ty would visit for a bit but then I would conveniently go get her every time so I could have one on one time with her. Beth thought I was being so kind.....I had my own motives. She is so serious!!

Jesse loved Ty time too. It's so cool how much my awesome husband loves other children. It's a rare find.

Cora and Tyler got along amazingly!! They were perfect little friends taking care of babies, pushing strollers around, eating all the time, watching TV. I thought we would really have to work with them but they were awesome. Ty can hold her own too! If Cora was making her mad she would just push her out of the way and go do her own thing! I can tell she will be a cool kid and I know that we have many future sleepovers in store. They will be best friends if Beth and I have anything to say about it!!! :) Ha!

*Cora looks innocent but I wonder what really is going on here! :)

Beth wanted Tyler to stay out of this crib! All weekend long she would tell her no. And I really tried to support Beth but then I got this look.............so I grabbed the camera and played with her instead!

Nana Suzanne was amazing with the kids! She has a gift for sure. They all wanted to be with her, playing with her, reading with her. It's so cool. I love how she is looking at Ty here. Such love.

What a perfect weekend before Jesse started 70 to 80 hour work weeks. April 18th come quickly!!! Thank you Hartzell family for an amazing weekend!!!!

Photo shoot.

2011-01-19T14:00:00.000-08:00

Yesterday was a rough day. It consisted of holding a sick baby girl and trying to entertain a 4 year old who also wanted to be help 24/7. I thought Asher was done with the flu but it just so happens I took him back to the Doctor today after hours of complaints about his cheeks and ear.

Double ear infections and blisters inside his ears! Gross and so sad. He wanted to be in my arms ALL day today! It was a crazy day but nice that they both wanted to be held. I still need to unpack from our weekend, do laundry, errands etc. But, life goes on hold and my babes come to my lap.

However, last night I had plans to get together with a few of my favorite friends. It's a rare treat and one that I treasure. So, regardless that I personally felt like a truck had hit me in the head, and the fact that I could taste nothing.....I was going!

I even showered and did my make-up. And then I had 15 minutes to spare. So, like every good Mama would do, I listened to my crying and whining children downstairs and then I listened to my husband as he tried to soothe and comfort and I thought....I'm on a break!! So, I grabbed my camera and started messing around with lighting and getting a good picture without a flash because that's always my goal and I need to practice.

The target: me.

A little dark.....my mirror needs a cleaning too.

Better....I set my ISO higher and messed with my Depth of Field. But, the framing not so great.

Still no flash.....but I could have played with my aperture more. But, it was fun and I'm getting better!

Happy Shooting!

Home Sweet home.

2011-01-17T21:11:00.000-08:00

We are back from our fun 5 day trip!

There are suitcases to unload, laundry to be done, toys and book to put away. There are pictures to upload!!!

Asher is better. Cora and I are not. I have a NASTY cold and I'm praying that it doesn't turn into the flu. Cora is down and out with high fevers and junk flying out of her nose, and eyes that say "hold me Momma."

So, the work waits, and in my arms she sits, snuggled up and nursing as much as she wants. We've cleared our calendar for the week and it's more home time. I'm so blessed that this is my job.

A post that really could be 5 different posts.

2011-01-14T20:54:00.000-08:00

Ashers sickness resulted in consistent 103 degree temperatures, night terrors and delusional thinking, a deep seal sounding cough and ultimately a trip to the Doctor. Diagnosis: Influenza A......the flu that the flu shot could have prevented, that I didn't get for my children because it's one more vaccine and although I'm not anti-vaccine I do have concerns with the mercury and long term affects and ethical dilemmas with the fetal tissue that goes into the flu vaccine. But, then watching Asher sweat and cry and struggle with sleep and the anxiety of Cora and I getting the flu overtakes my previous stance on the vaccine. Oh the currents of parenthood....the decisions, the angst, the wanting to do everything that's best for your child. Truly the flu doesn't bother me....it's OK to build immune systems and sickness helps with that but it's always an issue of timing.

This weekend we were given quite the treat by the Hartzell's.....our extended family and so I sit writing this post in Columbia Falls in a beautiful condo with music in the background, the smell of fresh brewed coffee, the fireplace buzzing, the Dads and boys at the pool and the little girl tucked away in their cribs. Bethany and Tyler are here too....an unexpected treat!

Sickness made me question our decision to come and infect others and then my wise friend Suzanne....a Mama who I look up to and who challenges me to love Jesus more and to parent with great amounts of patience and belief in my children said that's no reason not to come with us. We are family and so we wash hands and pray and avoid to our best ability the sharing of germs but we don't let it stop life. Oh I'm thankful for wise perspective and loving family and I'm really thankful for weekend get-a-ways with my sweet husband and children after a very busy and emotionally draining week.

Have you ever had someone say, "I couldn't call you back because I literally had no time?" I inwardly laugh at those people because really there is always time to at least check your voice mail or send a quick text back. And then last week happened and I truly had no time. Voice mails and e-mails were left unchecked. Breakfast and lunch skipped, one night a dinner at 11pm happened, little communication between my husband and I, and all while my little boy needed snuggles by his Mama but my own Mama and Grandma needed me more.

It was a busy week of family decisions, helping one another, listening to each other, being sad together, processing and treasured moments of time with my Grandma in the house she moved into 15 years ago, time helping her get to the Doctor, time getting meals and settled in fresh clothes.....time that will be no longer as she is moving into a home for patients suffering from Dementia. This week she knew who I was, knew that I had children, but I wonder if with this move the most familiar thing of recognizing family faces will slip away.

Life is unique. From sickness of a 4 year old to sickness of a 86 year old......to family get-a-ways and family that is bound at home we go forward. One day at a time.

Sick Day.

2011-01-11T20:58:00.000-08:00

In the wee hours of the morning Asher crawled in bed with us burning up. He started making a sound and I ran to the bathroom to grab a garbage can because I thought he was gagging....the funny thing is he thought he was too. But, it turned out to be a nasty seal like cough.

He laid around all day asking for water, eating very little, watching movies, and going through a box of Kleenex. During Cora's nap I was working on the computer and he asked me to hold him while he watched a movie. I about threw my computer off the bed I couldn't get it off my lap quick enough. Holding my growing boy is something I something I love. These days he tends more towards his Dada so I couldn't resist the snuggles regardless of the things on my task list.

Jesse arrived home from work to a sink piled with dishes, a house with toys scattered everywhere, and a little boy on my lap and thus a daughter needing attention. It was a jammie day for the kids, and a day of mess for the Mama but I didn't care.

I remember back to before Cora was born and how I would have spent the whole day with Asher in bed but with two children life has changed. But, I wouldn't have it any other way. I'm so thankful that I stay at home with my children. I love that I focus entirely on them. Today my volunteer responsibilities fell to the wayside and my children were in the spotlight. What a wonderful life I lead.....wiping snotty noses, giving out doses of Tylenol and ibuprofen, making whatever food is requested, taking temperatures and snuggling. The life of a Mama is truly the best.

Asherism.

2011-01-10T22:04:00.000-08:00

Today we were at Grandma Suzanne's house. She was teaching violin lessons. Asher disappeared and I thought he was in Williams room playing. But, he was actually standing outside the music room watching Suzanne and her student.

Asher often asks if he can learn to play an instrument and we have talked about music lessons and what instrument it should be.

Tonight as we were eating dinner I asked Asher, "Would you like to learn to play the violin Asher?"

He answered, "No, because then I wouldn't be able to be a farmer and I want to be a farmer the most."

We all cracked up and Grandma Suzanne joyfully told him about fiddle music and how great it would be for a farmer to fiddle hoping to convince him of a new answer. Asher remained true to his true love of farming and he may just have his mind made up about this one.

Wouldn't it be crazy if he really became a farmer someday???

Far to long.

2011-01-09T19:22:00.000-08:00

It's been far to long since I have posted. Last week was a very long and busy week. On average I was getting into bed at 1am and up by 6:30 or 7. Most everything outside of my family was put on the back burner. It was a week for helping my extended family. It was exhausting but so wonderful to have the freedom and friends to care for my children so I could be available.

I didn't turn my camera on once. I had very few conversations with my husband, by the end of the week my children were missing me.

But, this weekend was wonderful. We caught up on missed hugs and kisses, attended a conference at our church and all of us feel refreshed! Tonight we end the weekend with a family movie night. This week brings family from out of town, a small get-a-way, continuing to help family,a girls night dinner on top of the usual laundry, cooking, and house work.

At one point last week I felt a bit overwhelmed but such peace washed over me as I marveled at how blessed I am to have children who adapt to any situation, a dear friend who was so willing to be a Momma to my children when I was busy, and a husband who was willing to do anything he could. I'm so blessed.

Next week.....a more normal week!!

A new year.....

2011-01-01T20:11:00.000-08:00

I thought and talked about all the wonderful things that filled the year 2010 with my husband. We came up with quite a list.........from graduating with a masters, completion of the CPA exam and passing with flying colors, raising children as an almost single mom for many months, first steps, first words, pre-school beginnings, road trips, saying good bye to a friend forever, new friendships, running as a family, new jobs, and lots and lots of other family memories.

It's fun to look back on the year and remember the wonderful things that happened. For some, 2010 was a horrible year and 2011 brings new promises. I'm thankful that we had a year that we can look back at and remember how wonderful it was even through the challenges.

This was the first New Years Eve that Asher got to stay up until midnight! He loved the Barnes family party. We went to a Griz basketball game, make cookies, ate pizza, watched 2 movies, played board games, ate popcorn, ate the cookies we made and at midnight we went outside and lit off sparklers and watched fireworks in the sky. It was so fun to be with my two favorite guys. I wouldn't have wished last night to be any other way!

We said goodbye to 2010 and hello to 2011. It was perfect.

Happy New Year to all of you!

So big!

2010-12-29T21:33:00.000-08:00

This little peanut turned 19 months old a few days ago!

She is so funny! She fake talks to me or her Grandma or whoever else will listen and then like an adult she tips her head forward and slaps her knee and laughs.....it's hilarious!!

She is often messy and her bangs need a little trim!! She is very, very particular on what coat she wants to wear. She likes them all but I kid you NOT, she has to pick it out and she never matches and that drives me nuts......I think she knows it does too.

She adores her brother.....she wants everything to be fair. If she gets something then she asks for the same thing for ba-ba, she loves to hug him and kiss him BUT only on her conditions. Asher loves to hug and have his hand on Cora all the time, she however is very clear that she wants space! They are really starting to play together and it's so fun to watch. They are best friends. I pray their friendship grows and grows!

Note this series and the kids' hands!

It was worth it!

2010-12-28T17:15:00.000-08:00

Today, is our first day home since Christmas. The other days have been filled with traveling to family and friends houses, doing returns, purchasing items in exchange for the returns, saying good-bye to family, playing the game 'Round Up' and 'Super Why', shopping in the living room with our new shopping cart, playing baby with Cora and her new stroller and baby bed, rearranging bedrooms, cleaning out toys to make room for new toys, playing dragons and knights with Asher's new castle, listening to new CD's on our new "moosic players" and watching our new movie collection!! It's been wonderful. And today is wonderful too, today we rest and of course play! And, maybe we'll unpack a little more....oh and then there is laundry.....but we are home and that feels nice!

*Christmas Eve after church.

All the work before Christmas.....finding the best deals, shopping for the perfect gifts, working to bless others, dreaming of the faces that would beam when perfect gifts were opened, wrapping gifts and arranging bows, coordinating schedules, soaking up time with Aunties and Uncles, baking (well if you bake), addressing a 100 cards, writing and editing Christmas letters and writing personal notes on each one, making lists and literally checking them three or four times to make sure everyone is cared for, teaching and preparing a 4 year old to be thankful no matter the gift, packing to sleep over and Grandma and Papa's and remembering everything.....well, all I can say is it was worth it.

* Jesse spent most of the day setting up games and toys.

Because, it meant enjoying watching our children discover the shopping cart and food, new bulls and board games left by Santa, spending time with Uncle Rye, enjoying Great Grandma that may not have another Christmas, marveling at how simple it is to please 1.5 and 4.5 years old with stockings full of dollar store crap, giving of the perfect gifts, hugging and kissing those that mean the mot to me and of course the food....eating our traditional brunch that absolutely screams Christmas, enjoying every bite of our king crab Christmas dinner, and then sleeping in our own beds on Christmas night dreaming of the wonderful way we had been blessed.

It has been a season of many parties, many cards, much work, little extra time and beautiful snowy roads. Oh and did I mention it was so worth it?!

Only 362 more days until we do it all again and I can't wait!!!!

Christmas is here!

2010-12-24T09:28:00.000-08:00

Last night Christmas began! We had Hartzell/Barnes Christmas. It's one of my favorite nights all year! We eat together, get into the spirit of Christmas by opening a few gifts, we laugh, we eat more, and sometimes we even play a game (that's my fav!).

It's so wonderful to watch my children connect with their aunties and uncles....I can't wait for more sweet children to be running around! I get so excited to give the gifts I've picked out every year!

Mostly, I love that it feels like Christmas! I can't wait for Christmas morning!!!! My children are going to have so much fun and that is the BEST part.

Today, we have a family day planned....one errand, maybe some snowman building, dinner, another performance at our Christmas Eve service, driving around town looking at lights and we will finish the day by opening jammies for bed!! Christmas is here, I love giving and seeing my children and family have fun, but MOSTLY I love that we are celebrating Jesus on this day. Regardless of the fact that he probably wasn't even born at this time of year, and that Christmas Tree apparently come from pagan roots.....I choose to marvel at the birth of Jesus.....deity being born in a stable! My God is creative and amazing.

Happy Birthday J-Dawg! (Lissa that for you.)

Asher's first.........

2010-12-22T22:12:00.000-08:00

Christmas Concert!

On Sunday, Asher sang two songs at church. He LOVED it! He enunciated the words very clearly and people thought he was adorable. I did too!

Here they are getting ready to go on!

This picture cracks me up, because it looks like Maddie is going to "cast a spell!"

Asher and Za stood right next to each other, the music had just started and they were both a little nervous!

Getting going.....

A little prayer action...

Getting into it just a little more.....

Now we are REALLY singing! Asher could be heard in the back of the church!

The whole group!

The conductor......it just so happens that Grandma Suzanne put together all of this! Asher loved having her in his Sunday school class.

The 2nd song involved some stars!

He kept getting closer and closer to the front of the stage.

It was so much fun to see and hear Asher sing!!! I love that he is singing about Jesus' birth and having so much fun at the same time.

After the service I wanted to get pictures with Asher and Will in their matching outfits.

They look really happy!

They are so cute!

Cute friends!

Asherisms.

2010-12-20T16:30:00.000-08:00

Asher loves to pull out the word ridiculous! He uses it often and it's so cute!! For example, "Mom this weather is ri-dic-li-us. Just say it out loud when you read this, it will make you giggle.

Asher is really into "making" dessert. Basically, he climbs up on the counter, grabs a plastic container, and fills it with a little sugar from the sugar bowl, candy that he unwraps, gum, sometime even cheddar goldfish end up in the dessert. And usually "walkie-talkie's" get in there. That translates to laffy taffy. I don't want to correct him because I think it's so cute!

How to get Vaseline out of your hair.......maybe.

2010-12-17T23:15:00.000-08:00

Today while talking on the phone to a dear friend I gave Cora toys to play with while I visited. She entertained herself and was a wonderful girl. The last five minutes of the conversation she headed into her room and suddenly I realized that she was too quiet. Then I heard Asher say, "Oh NO Cora!"

I ran to her and I found her with an empty container of Vaseline, a HUGE grin on her face, and hair full of grease.

I threw her in the tub, grabbed my phone and tried to get a hold of her personal hair dressar....who convienetly is one of my dearest friends. She didn't answer. So I did what every calm mother in situations like this does....I called her over and over, and texted, and called her husband and called her best friend who is also a hair dressar and it happens they were together IGNORING my calls!

Meanwhile, my best friend who I had been on the phone with began to google solutions after I texted her begging for help.

During all these calls and texts Cora was sitting in a warm bath tub looking like this:

Do you see the globs and globs of Vaseline?

And then began the "treatments." Please note the reason I choose to document this via photo is because I had to keep the humor going......because really it wasn't all that humorous.

Plan A - First we began with egg......It's what Bethany found online.

First you beat it.

Then you pour it on.....

And then we waited. And then we shampooed and conditioned and it had done NOTHING.

Then I combed....but I didn't take pictures of combing. Cora was SCREAMING.

Then, her personal hair dresser called......it turns out they weren't ignoring me....their phones were just on silent (I didn't really think they were). This was her recommendation:

And so we tried Plan B of dish soap and lemon juice.

This was our first time.

And this was our second time.....we began our downward spiral.

Meanwhile, Bethany had read rave reviews about baby oil. And so we moved onto plan C.

And we did this about 4 times, with shampooing in between.

Time 1.....so greasy!

Time 2 or 3

One of the times of shampooing in between.....we needed some comfort so we opted for the "b" in the tub.

After the baby oil and shampooing Cora was exhausted. It was an hour past nap time. So, I opted to get her out and try again later. This is her wet hair after the bath.

It looked and felt SO SICK!

And here is her hair after her nap.....completely dry.

At least she was finally happy......and to give credit where it's due....Asher took this picture. Anyway, after dinner it was back to the bath. May I also note, this is the first time since Cora was an infant that she didn't need a clip in her hair because it was so greasy it stayed where you put it!

Plan D....

Bethany also read this idea and Cora's hair dresser also agreed.

And so we poured and massaged, and poured and massaged......

You can kind of see it in her hair....she looked like an old lady with gray hair!

And after plan D......we went back to plan B two times.

And we lathered.....

And we ended with a shampoo and conditioner at the end. And, it still felt greasy.

Here is her hair wet.....she was asleep before it dried so perhaps a follow up picture tomorrow will be necessary.

At least I got to stare into these beautiful eyes for a few unexpected hours today!

So, there you have it..... How to get Vaseline out of your hair.....maybe.

Wow what a day!

I can't think of a creative title.....so how about cupcakes UGH!

2010-12-16T13:48:00.000-08:00

I've been so busy lately I was feeling the need to spend some really good time with Asher creating. We do little projects most days but I don't always sit with him. Sometimes he sits by himself and colors or cuts or glues while I do things around the house.

Family Fun arrived in the mail with very cute cupcakes on the cover. Asher loved them. This week he had was in charge of bringing a snack to Awana and to pre-school. It seemed like the perfect opportunity to create!

A few things to note:

1. I hate to bake

2. I'm not a good baker and usually something goes wrong

3. Baking is way to detailed for me

4. I want a kitchen aid mixer

5. I'm an over-achiever and I want things to look perfect

A few things that happened:

1. I had to make 4 trips to different stores to get the right ingredients.

2. One of those trips was during the project.

3. It was a many hour process since I had to make so many and for different days

4. My kitchen is still a mess from the project.

5. Breaking pretzels in the right spot to create reindeer antlers is pretty much IMPOSSIBLE! I literally had to bite all of them....it's gross I know but I was panicking!

6. Little 4 year old boys have a very hard time neatly placing ANYTHING on a cupcake.

7. Our time together was mostly fun but we had some melt downs during the project because I would not allow him to create manes for all the reindeer out of tootsie rolls and frosting mushed together that really looked like poop.

8. And finally, it was worth it for Asher to feel so proud of his cupcakes that he claimed he made but really his Mama did all the work.

*Sorry for the picture quality, it's from my phone.

Teddy Bear Tea

2010-12-15T23:21:00.000-08:00

One of the events that has kept me so busy was the Festival of Tree's. It the biggest fundraiser Mountain Home, an organization I serve on the Board of Directors of does each December. It's a beautiful event where elaborately decorated trees line the perimeter of a large banquet room room. Often big items like plane tickets, and gift certificates accompany the tree.

We hold different events where people can come and see the trees! The biggest night includes a large gala where each tree is auctioned off and we raise thousands of dollars. This program helps young mothers as they begin the journey of motherhood. Many of these young Mama's come from very messed up backgrounds, they are often homeless or have been kicked out of their home. Many come with addictions and other problems. These Mama's need a place where they can learn to love themselves and their children, a place where they learn how to parent, a place with 24 hour staff to encourage them and step in when necessary. I worked for this program for many years, through college, and then through the first year of Asher's life. Now I serve on the board. The program is very dear to my heart, I believe in the mission and in the change and impact they are making! So, when the opportunity came to quickly throw together an event that was perhaps going to slip away, another board member and I jumped in to see it happen! The Teddy Bear Tea was wonderful!

At the last minute I gathered my friends.......I needed a poster, I needed crafts, I needed a Mrs. Clause, I needed people to come!! I wanted the event to be the best one yet! Thanks to friends helping behind the scenes and friends who attended and supported me, it was the best Tea yet.

The little ladies dressed in their beautiful Christmas dresses! Each guest was encouraged to bring a Teddy Bear too!

Children walked around the room looking at the trees, and then sipped juice out of tea cups, ate muffins, created ornaments, visited with Santa, watched a live performance of the Nutcracker, and enjoyed story time by Mrs. Clause!

I was surprised by how mesmerized all the children were with the Nutcracker dancers! It was so cool to see wide eyed children as they watched dancers dance just a few inches from them! It was a bit magical.

Cora and her Daddy loved it too!

It was so wonderful to see little girls twirling in their dresses after the dancers were gone, jumping onto the dance floor practicing their ballet! I remember seeing dancers older than me and thinking it was the most beautiful thing in the world.....I know their were little girls who felt the same way. Even the boys liked it. I specifically requested a male dancer so that we fairly represented all genders!

Perhaps the best part of the tea was Mrs. Clause. She told a story using a felt board about a little teddy bear and Santa. She held the children's attention so well! She is a friend of ours and she wiped out every past Mrs. Clause. It was awesome!

Well, Cora didn't listen that well......but everyone else did!

It was a wonderful morning.....I have lots of ideas on how to make it better next year!! Thank you friends for helping and coming. I couldn't have done it without you!

Ready?

2010-12-10T13:57:00.000-08:00

A busy weekend, followed by being at the hospital for 21 hours, followed by lying down at 6am knowing I had to be up at 8am to care for four children and although EXHAUSTED I couldn't stop thinking about watching a baby be born, finally sleep came....but not much. With four children in tow after forcing myself to stay awake all day and during nap/rest time I headed to set up for a Christmas party for a non-profit in Missoula that I was helping with and since it was at my church I had to be there, followed by a good nights of sleep but not enough, followed by meeting up with three awesome girls at separate times on Wednesday (one of which let themselves into my house and began playing with Asher and his friend and I didn't hear her because I was just going to close my eyes for a few minutes.....).

Finally by Thursday I felt back to normal. Ahhh, it felt good to feel good. Our house was desperate for groceries and so with 3 children in tow I made it to super wal-mart and Costco in 2 hours and made it to pick Asher up from pre-school on time.

It has been a marathon of a week......on top of all these little things there is the usual laundry, dishes, cooking, art projects, book reading, snuggling, oh and time for my husband.

Tonight, I have a wedding rehearsal to run, Jesse's work Christmas party, a wedding tomorrow and then.............perhaps a breath to upload pictures, catch up on blogs, start wrapping presents, sending out Christmas cards, and getting ready for family to come to town.

Phew. Wasn't I going to try and keep December low key? How do you think I'm doing? Ha!

A new week.

2010-12-05T22:26:00.000-08:00

The past two weeks of my life, have not been the easiest. They have been filled with conflict, rough conversations, intense letters, e-mails, and ethical issues. None of these "issues" have been between my family or close friends and for that I'm thankful. I was put in a situation though, where I felt that I needed to fight for what was right.....I stepped out on to a limb, vulnerable and alone, and it was scary and honestly it sucked.

The issue is not over. There is more to come regarding the issue, but in the end I'm so glad I took a stand. My sweet husband was so very supportive, one of my friends stayed up on how I was doing and feeling. The circumstances behind the issue are not relevant. However, I asked the question this week of, "Why do I continually find myself in these situations?" The response that came from a friend was, "You are passionate, and a fighter for things that are not right." The response did not bring comfort but it did remind me that I am fearfully and wonderfully made. God designed me to be a quick thinker, to be bold, and to fight for what's right.

I'm so thankful the pit in my stomach is gone, I'm thankful for a husband who daily told me, "I'm proud of you and how you are handling everything," but mostly I'm thankful for God. I love having someone that I can pour my heart out to, that I can complain to and ask for comfort and then feel completely filled. He, is always victorious, and that doesn't not mean that He is "on my side" but it does mean that He is with me, near me and He will never leave me. As I faced many people that were involved with the issue this week, I wished that my husband could have been by my side, but he couldn't be and it forced me to rely more on the Lord. Oh, how I grew this week. I'm so thankful to have faith.

And, I'm thankful that tomorrow is a new week...... a week of parties, a week of seeing a baby be born, a week of wedding fun and more Christmas parties. The stockings are hung, lights are up inside and out, and so, I choose to focus on this wonderful season no matter what comes my way.

Trees!

2010-12-04T14:29:00.000-08:00

My crazy week has ended. I have a few days before it picks up again with parties and a wedding that we are involved with. So, I better get a few good posts in before it all takes off again.

6 years ago we started Christmas Tree hunting with a few couples. Our group has expanded as well as added children. Every year we have so much fun as we drive up into the mountains singing "O Christmas Tree," listening to Christmas music, attempting to get stuck (yes I wrote that correctly), drinking hot chocolate, all while searching for the perfect Christmas tree.

This year was particularly wonderful because of all the snow! Perhaps, my favorite year yet.

It's always nice to "bag" the first tree. We all seem to rotate years where one couple struggles to find the right tree. This year we were all pretty quick. I think the snow just put everyone in the right mood. Jessica B was the first this year!!

These four had a great time! Asher was the least adventurous. He did a lot of watching his friends yet he still had a great time. He is very comfortable with his cautious ways and never feels pressured to be more adventourous. We often encourage him to do the things his friends are doing, and he won't and he's fine with it. I pray his strong self esteem never leaves him.

For example, sledding.

Especially while being pulled behind a truck! Asher is completely content watching his friends.

Our tree.....I missed the picture opp, because I was sledding. :)

We ended the day with snacks, hot chocolate, tears by a cold Joshie, a group photo. I can't wait until next year!! (We are missing the four little girls of our group.....they stayed home where it's warm!)

So many things....

2010-11-30T22:05:00.000-08:00

I have so many posts rolling around in my head! But, just no time to write them or photograph them, or even edit photographs I have taken that need to be posted. This is a busy week for me. I have extra children, appointments, meetings with young women I mentor, on top of a huge 3 day event for a program I serve on the Board of Directors at. It is busy. And so, we decided to decorate our Christmas tree.

It was a slight fiasco. First of all the lights don't match and it is driving me crazy!!! There is one strand that makes up the top 1/3 of the tree that is different. I can hardly look at our tree. Beyond that, to just get the lights on I made one trip to Wal-Mart at 11pm last night, and one trip to ACE hardware today. Can I just say ACE is the BEST!!! They remind me of a church! They don't judge, they don't laugh because you may be "dumb" when dealing with fix-it-type-things like me, the are friendly, they are kind. Honestly, I think my church and church's in general could learn a lot from ACE. OK, I'm done with that mini rant.

Back to life.

My goal this December is to really enjoy it. I want to marvel at lights on houses like my children do, I want to marvel at every decorated tree in the stores. I want to stop to look at ornaments and different displays in stores. December fills up so quickly, and albeit with fun and wonderful things, I just want it to be a slow month where I suck every moment out of every day and enjoy the magic and beauty of this season.

So, I planned to post pictures of our yearly Christmas tree hunt, but instead I want to share a link with you. Please read this Mama's post. She wrote some powerful words that spoke LOUDLY to me. I want to enjoy this season, I want to enjoy my children, and honestly I want them to enjoy me. So, I plan on getting on their level a little more, I plan on crafting and creating with more patience, I plan on taking lots of fun outings but taking it slow and not snapping when Asher uses his outside voice, inside when he is excited. This letter was convicting and powerful for me and it may be for you too. Let me know what you think and what things you are going to let go!

Dear Cora.

2010-11-27T21:43:00.000-08:00

Our sweet Cora turned 18 months yesterday. It was a busy day, but I kept stopping for brief moments to soak my little girl in. I want to remember her smile, her laugh, the seriousness that she possesses, her compassion for others, her ability to brighten the day of those her pass her by, her love for her brother, her Daddy, and other family. This little girl is special and beautiful.

There is something about this little girl who wears ruffles, and bows, and pink and red with her blues eyes and her pretty on her wrist......there is sass yet beauty. It's funny that she is 18 months and I can see wonderful glimpses of her personality.

She is like her brother in so many ways, her love for all animals real or toy. Her love to wrestle and shoot guns and play with swords. She cares for her babies as well, and wants pretties in her hair, but she won't be left behind by Asher.

She has such compassion for her Baba as well. (We have tried to have her start saying Asher, but that induced tears from him, begging that she call him Baba!) Often we will carry Cora in from the car and then go back to unbuckle Asher. She is quick to remind Jesse or I that Baba is still in the car! She can have quite the temper as well however, Asher can wrestle her to the ground, push her, and she rarely reacts. But, if he tries to hug her.......it's a conflict!

My little blue eyed beauty captures my heart more and more each day. It's sad to watch her walk out of toddler hood, into a little girl, and she is truly becoming more and more little girl. However, each day I see her face new challenges and overcome them, and see the tenderness in her heart, the more excited I am to see her grow! I can hardly believe I have the front row seat to such a wonderful being.

Cora still loves her Papa more than anything. She has a REAL love for anything sweet except pumpkin pie. She sleeps well and does not do well when she is woken up.....she prefers to slowly wake up. However, once she is up she will begin smacking her lips until she gets breakfast or a snack! In addition to swords and guns, she loves to read books. Sometime I get so sick of reading books I hide them! She nurses still, and loves her mama time. She often falls asleep in my arms at night and I often hold her for an hour while I check blogs. The dishes, laundry and house work never go away, but the time I can hold this sweet one in my arms as she sleeps will. She is easily my priority!

This little Diva and I have much to look forward to. Trips as mother and daughter. Manicures and pedicures for fun! Shopping and coffee. Movie nights and sleep overs. I know we have our challenges ahead too.....brokenness over life experiences, junior high hormones, and the ebb and flow of a mother and daughter relationship. I do not take the job of Mama lightly. I pray daily for my sweet girl. That she would be full of passion for life and for the Lord, that she would love herself and others well, that she would see beauty in the little things, that she would love her family, I pray for her future husband and for her dreams. I long to see her soar and I know I will! Happy 18 month birthday little one!

Thankful.

2010-11-25T11:55:00.000-08:00

I've just come in from a beautiful winter day in Montana! For that I'm thankful!

It snowed last night while we snuggled up under our down covers and when we woke early in the morning there was that "snow glow." We bundled up in snow pants and jackets, gloves and boots. (It takes so much time to bundle up children for the 10 minutes they stay outside, but it is SO worth it.)

With the camera in tow we entered our little cul-de-sac wonderland. I shot a few pictures then came in to make latte's and hot chocolate so they would be waiting for the people I'm most thankful for.

As my family was outside shoveling snow, I sat down to began to write this little post. Looking out the window there were flakes falling, neighbors wishing one another a Happy Thanksgiving and the wishes could be heard through closed windows. I sipped my coffee and looked down from the window at my family and I knew, that today would be a great Thanksgiving for I have so much to be Thankful for.

I have a sweet husband who does the shoveling, but more that being the incredible servant that he is to our family, he completes me. He makes me laugh and supports me in a way that no one else can. I'm in love. Forever.

For my sweet daughter, who can bring a smile to anyone's face. The girl who is expermenting with new words every day, and kisses my lips with a real smack now. My heart is full.

And then there is Asher, the boy who loves and feels deeply, who is emotional and strong at the same time. My heart hurts sometimes when I think about how much I love him. He says the cutest things and I thought you would like to hear some of those cute words......so, I asked him a few things about Thanksgiving and I wrote as he spoke. Enjoy!

What does Thanksgiving me to you? Happy

What do we do on Thanksgiving? Eat Turkey

What's your favorite thing about Thanksgiving?: Cause we get to go to Grandma and Papa's.

What's your favorite food at Thanksgiving? Turkey.

Do you remember any of the other things we have at dinner? No.

Why do we celebrate Thanksgiving? Cause, um........in a whisper cause what Mom?
You tell me what you think Asher.
Um cause, it's Jesus's blood?

What are you thankful for? For cows.
Anything else? Shirts.
Tell me a bunch of things. Horses.
That's one thing. Oh! Ducks, chickens, pigs. Next is Mama. And I love birthday parties. And I Looove food. It's yum, yum, yum, yum, yum. And I looooove wearing cowboy hats. And I Looooove Rodeo's. And I Loooove riding Horses.

It turned into a list of love and that's OK. I'm just glad I made the list!

Happy Thanksgiving from Asher and the rest of us to you!

Perfection.

2010-11-23T21:09:00.000-08:00

Last week we ventured to our friends' house in the country for the 'perfect' play date. It was our first real snow of the season so we packed up our snow clothes, I picked up hot latte's for the mama's and we were off.

It was Asher's favorite play date ever.

We started the day off by playing in the snow.

Cora enjoying her first snow of the winter! She LOVES her REI down snowsuit!

Snowball fight.

Maddie kept "sneaking" up on me with snowballs while I was taking pictures!

Gracie making "the perfect snow angel"

If you have been reading for any time at all, then you know I have a love for profile pictures. Not, just of my children, but of my sweet friends whose children hold a sweet place in my heart.
Little Danica.

Poor Joshy couldn't keep his little blue eyes open!

After our snow time, we drank hot chocolate, had lunch and then it was time for the daily chores. Asher was thrilled to tag along with his friends as they fed their bunnies, checked for eggs, and filled up the kindling box. I stayed with the little girls during chore time.

Cora put this head band on herself.

A future texter. I wonder what they will have in 30 years when these girls are my age!

When the van pulled up from doing the chores the horses came in thinking they might get fed. Cora stood at the window looking out jumping, pointing, and saying, "Cowwwww, cowwwww, cowwwww." She drags out the "w" on Cowwwwwwww. It is the cutest thing. I think we need to work on animal identification.

Hello cowboy.

Asher was hoping we would get to ride horses. I told him this wouldn't be the trip, but Maddie and Gracie's grandpa came out to do some training and Asher was able to ride. It truly was the "best day ever".

Maddie and Gracie have quite the skill. First Maddie hopped up, and then not to be outdone by her sister Gracie hopped up too!

Maddie and Gracie were sick of riding much before Asher was, so he got to ride around the arena a lot! Gracie led him around, and around, and around. He never got bored.

He didn't smile much or talk a lot, he just rode and rode and didn't want to get off.

Asher is blessed to have such wonderful friends.

Almost perfect Saturday....

2010-11-20T20:42:00.000-08:00

Perfection: Sleeping in until 10am, snuggling in bed with my family, going for a long run in the brisk winter weather with Jesse, watching my Alma mater compete in their biggest game of the year, finishing our fall clean up, homemade beef stroganoff, making homemade cookies with my son and daughter by my side helping me, eating the cookies while drinking milk and playing a family game, clean bodies after a bath and footie jammies for coziness.

Un-perfection: Watching the Grizzlies make many bad mistakes thus loosing, a little conflict with my hubby.......it happens. Ha!

I hope your Saturday has been warm and wonderful.

The internet.

2010-11-18T15:18:00.000-08:00

On Sunday I will have been away from Facebook for 2 weeks. I've been feeling a tug on my heart for awhile to step back from facebook. I've felt it because sometimes I sneak 5 minutes away from my children just to "check" a few things. Sometimes when my sweet husband is talking to me I multi-task and check facebook, and sometimes when I'm on the phone I try to talk and read because I'm an excellent multi-tasker. Bottom line: I'm being rude. I'm addicted to facebook. Yuck. It pains me to even write that. Most of it is useless time spent instead of focusing on what's right in front of me: my friends, children, a book, my husband, the Bible, maybe housework....I'm not sure about that last one though.

I've been on the other end too.....I have a few friends who are addicted to facebook. They check it when I'm at their house for coffee or I hear one friend typing (usually e-mails), I've felt it and it doesn't feel good.

So, I took a break. It's been great. In addition to facebook I read quite a few blogs during the week and I get so much more from blogs. I get ideas, I connect with other Mama's, I learn photography tips, I pray for hurting people, I connect to others....this blogging world really is amazing. Those moments of reading fill me instead of leaving me feeling like I wasted time. Blogs don't hurt my feelings but if I'm honest facebook has a time or two (again embarrassing to admit).

I absolutely don't want my children to ever remember the internet, or a computer or a phone to have been more important than them. I know there is balance, I need to talk sometimes and they need to learn patience and manners, I have to check e-mails at times but NOT more than I need to be with them.Ever.

This post is written for me. But, since I have a few readers I thought I would share just a few of the blogs that fill me up during the week, blogs that leave me inspired or a few pennies richer, or challenge me as a mom and photographer. And, facebook, I might kick you to the curb forever, or I might only check you one once or twice a week.....I'm not sure.

OK, here we go.

I found this blog through the Pioneer Woman who I'm sure most of you already read because she is like the biggest blogger in the world. By the way, I really, really, really, want to win one of PW's prizes, it's like playing the lottery though since she often has 30,000 people enter so, my chances aren't high but I'll keep trying. This blog is written by a single girl. She is currently writing a book and her faith is awesome and she makes me laugh. You have to give her a few weeks to really connect to her. This women is simply AMAZING. She is a young single 20-something girl who moved to Africa and has adopted 14 daughters. She can't blog a lot because of internet access BUT her words are powerful and she inspires me to give at a greater sacrifice. I check her blog often....often there is nothing, but she is worth the wait. Finally, I've mentioned this one before and many have of you have become addicted as well BUT, my this is my all time favorite blog. This blog inspires me to love harder, enjoy life more, and to write more!

Please let me know if you start reading any of these and what you think! Do you read any awesome blogs that I should add to my list?

3 of 3.

2010-11-15T21:22:00.000-08:00

Alternately Titled: 10 Random things about Kylie.

**I wish Jesse could have written this post, but it just didn't work out. Many of you commented that you might do this as well. I can't wait to read the random facts about you!

10. I was pinched by a crab.....this wasn't a mild pinch, this was a pinch that brought screams from my mouth so loud that it drew most of the campground. This was a pinch that resulted in one friend laughing at me while I was in pain, while his Dad tried to pull the crab off my finger with his former pro-football player strength and could not do it, the irritation with the claw then caused the crab to squeeze harder. I thought my finger would never be the same. Finally, the crab was shredded to pieces by a knife in order to get it to release. It hurt. Really bad.

9. When I was child we would normally celebrate the 4th of July lighting off fireworks at our house. One year, my grandparents, aunt and uncle and cousins joined in the fun. We were standing on our covered porch and my Dad was handing me a sparkler to play with. As he was handing it to me he realized there was an large bag of fireworks under the hand off. The thought crossed his mind, "we need to light the sparklers in the grass," just as the sparkler was dropped into the bad causing a massive display of sparks under our porch with children, grandparents, and adults running and yelling. My little brother and cousins took off half way down the street, my grandparents huddled in a corner on the porch, my poor grandfather was trying to get his hearing aid turned off because the explosions were breaking his ear drum's, my mom grabbed a 2 cup measuring cup filled with water and threw it at the door (we still tease her about this). After the explosion finished there were bushes on fire and more chaos. Fire trucks had been summoned by the nieghbors. Being the quick thinkers us Smiths are.....we grabbed hoses, doused the bushes and turned off all the lights in the house so the fire trucks would not find us! I suffered a pretty bad burn on my hands, the porch carpet was destroyed, the ceiling of the porch a black mess, and eardrums were ringing. But, I'll never forget that holiday!

8. While on a road trip I hit a bear and killed it. The passenger of the car thought we his a buffalo. A buffalo really? It still annoys me. But, it's pretty cool that I hit a bear.....everyone hit's deer....not many people can say they killed a bear.

7. I gave birth using no medication to both of my children. If I could, I would give birth every few days because I love it so very much. I have often thought about being a surrogate mother.

6. One of my childhood chores was to do the dishes. I had a very active imagination and I could turn anything into a game. When I was young, probably late grade school, maybe middle school I would leave a portion of my dinner on my plate each night. As I did the dishes I would prenend that a sniper had my head in his cross hairs ready to shoot and kill me if I EVER stopped chewing. So, I would move about the kitchen and dining room, all while slowly finishing off the last of my dinner, never stopping chewing in order to survive. I may have even pretended to be shot once or twice, but mostly I was really talented at chewing one bite of food for a very, long time. At least it made doing the dishes interesting!

5. I carry around a jar of crushed red pepper flakes in my purse.....I cannot tell you the number of times I have used them. I pull them out when I'm served bad spaghetti sauce or when we have pizza and there are no pepper flakes. I actually have an entire story based around those red pepper flakes in my purse that I will post in the next few days.....it needs its own post.

4. I'm left handed sort of. I write left handed but I do everything else right handed BUT, I can eat and brush my teeth with my left hand and it doesn't feel awkward.

3. I pee my pants a lot. Usually, I put off peeing and then it just comes out because I wait so long, I cannot tell you the number of people I've peed my pants in front of. When I was pregnant with Asher, we had a room full of guests. Mostly college students who were hanging out. Someone made me giggle and in front of everyone I peed. When I took off running to change there was a HUGE wet spot on the couch. It was embarrassing but so typical of me!

2, I also puke a lot. My entire life I have had morning sickness. Smells bother me, sounds especially bother me (like someone gagging while brushing their teeth), and when something sets me off, their is no going back. I just have to get it over with. I throw up and then I'm better. It's weird. It's been going on as long as I can remember getting up for school and it hasn't stopped!

1. The first time I ate beef I was 5. We were visiting my Grandma and she had prepared a wonderful meal. We sat down and I had a bite of the meat and quickly asked, "What is this?" My mom replied, "beef." My question in return was, "What animal is beef?" "Cow", she said. "What?!!!? People eat cows," I cried in horror. I spit the meat out and declared, "I don't eat cows." Can you tell I grew up on venison?

2 of 3.

2010-11-13T14:26:00.000-08:00

Alternately titled: 10 Random things about Jesse.

10. You may not believe this but Jesse has some MAD dance moves. When he hears music, especially if it's hip hop and has a good beat he can't STOP from moving. He has an incredible move that has been named, "Down Doggy Down." I have never, ever, seen someone who can do his trademark move even remotely close to Jesse and many people have tried. This guy can dance. He loves to show off as well......often challenging his friends to dance offs.

*Please note that I did not write Jesse has some MAD dance skillz.......there is no skill.......but there is heart.

9. Jesse is a rule follower. However, I must inform you (well mostly his children when they are old and grown) that he has some stories that would disagree with this statement. One being, that in high school Jesse and some friends decided to go to a forest and light off bottle rockets. Soon, a Forest Service Ranger on a Four Wheeler was after them. The boys decided they could out run the law. They were all long distance runners and so they fled. They ran and ran and ran. They almost got away too, but when they were caught they insisted "it wasn't us!" They were asked to empty their pockets. Each guy emptied their pockets and nothing was found........when Jesse emptied his.......their was a lighter and firework wrapper in his pockets. Ahem......fast yes, but smart enough to ditch the evidence?.......um no.

8. Jesse really, really likes chic flicks.

7. Jesse loves maps. I don't mean that he likes them for directions, or to find cool places to go, this guy has a real love for maps. And, he is quick at locating and navigating through everything. It really is a great skill. In high school, his love for maps was evident by his bedroom. While most teenage guys were hanging up pictures of models, Jesse's room was decorated in maps.......everywhere. Man this guy is cool.

6. Also, rating up their in "coolness" was the system that Jesse rigged in his bedroom. When he would walk into his room and flip on his light the song Magic Carpet Ride by Steppenwolf would begin to play.

5. Jesse has had to be rushed to the hospital via ambulance more than once. One of those times was in Africa. I think that's just sa-weet.

4. Jesse collected Pez containers as a child. Our children recently inherited his childhood Pez collection. We now have Pez people everywhere.

3. When Jesse was born there were some complications with his birth. Those complications led to some challenges in his childhood. Jesse did not speak understandable English until he was 5 or so years old. And even then, it would be hard to understand every word. Growing up he had his own language that his sister was the best at deciphering. His parents understood some of it as well. For example, he could not say "car" so he named cars, "zicum." He was in intense speech therapy until he was in the 6th grade. Jesse also had very, very poor coordination skills. He was told by Doctors that he would never succeed in sports or do anything in the field of public speaking.

Jesse went on to earn a full ride scholarship to the University of Montana after a very successful High School cross country career. He also, has had a few different roles that required him to public speak, as a teacher and as the announcement guy in front of 300-400 people weekly at church.

2. In college Jesse ran the "race of his life" and won the title of Big Sky Conference Champion.

1. Also, in college Jesse once put a set of dentures in his mouth that had been found in an abandoned house on the Crow Indian Reservation (these dentures had been used and also had been passed mouth to mouth by a few young guys that were serving on the mission trip). When pulling them out of his mouth, there was a long string of saliva that I watched Jesse suck from the dentures into is mouth. I kid you NOT, I threw up. I also kid you not that I said, "I feel sorry for the person that ever has to kiss Jesse Barnes." Wait.....was that one about Jesse or me??

1 of 3.

2010-11-12T14:32:00.000-08:00

I began writing this blog to document little snippets about our life......often that means stories about our children. The good and the bad. I also write as a nostalgic Mama who wants to remember each moment of my children's lives. I write about the challenges we face. Sometimes I write about my weaknesses. This blog has had moments of humor, tragedy, sadness, love, and joy. I aim to be "real" as I write about our life, not wanting to appear more perfect than we are. Although I don't receive tons of comments I have a wide variety of readers from Europe and Canada, all over the US.....the hits I receive on my blog weekly make me giggle....why would they be interested in our little life? I do wish more people would comment.....because I'm a curious person and I just want to know you! Ha.

I have this image in my head of our children reading our blook (blog turned book) down the road in 20 years. I picture their spouses and my grandchildren flipping through the pages of this blook giggling at pictures, reading stories, perhaps even inspiring those who read to love well and to love hard.

As I was mulling these thoughts over in my head I had an idea to write a post about Jesse and I of things you would not normally know. Things that I want our children to know and grandchildren to know.....mostly to make them giggle. So this is simply a lead in......a post to preface the "10 Random things about Jesse/Kylie" that will post tomorrow and Monday. See you tomorrow!

Play dough.

2010-11-11T14:05:00.000-08:00

Asher loves to play with Play dough. We have all sorts of tools, little butter knives, chopsticks, etc that are in a playdough drawer. The key to the constant entertainment is homemade play dough. After it's made I store it in the fridge and it lasts FOREVER! We have one Tupperware that we've had for 2.5 years. The play dough stays soft and it's great to make snakes, or volcanoes, or food or....whatever the imagination thinks of!

Asher LOVES making the play dough with me as well! We are going to start giving this and utensils for birthday gifts. Fun and cheap. Here is the step by step:

Mix flour, salt, and cream of tarter.

Add water, color and oil to a bowl....I love these pouring pictures! I had a great time messing around with my camera!

Add food coloring....it calls for 2tsp and you don't need that much! This is my helpers favorite job!

Add the liquid to the sauce pan.

This is such a fun look.....Asher gets excited every time!

Mix and mix and mix......

Until, the ingredients form a ball in the saucepan.

Knead it over some flour and then...........

CREATE!

Here are the measurments:
1 c White Flour
1/4 c. salt
2 T cream of Tarter
1 c. water
2 tsp food coloring
1 T oil

Mix flour, salt and cream of tartar in the medium saucepan. Combine water, food coloring, and oil. Add to dry mixture. Cook over medium heat, stirring constantly for about 3-5 minutes. When ingredients form a ball in the pan, turn out and knead on a lightly floured surface. Store in airtight container.

Recipe source: Grandma Suzanne

Shout it out.

2010-11-09T12:43:00.000-08:00

I love to read blogs, I love to write blogs, there is something about this blogging world that I'm addicted to. The connection to others, the friendships made with people I otherwise would not know. The pictures that connect me to those hundreds of miles away. The internet has many, many downfalls but it also connects people in a powerful way.

A year ago one of my blog followers and a friend started her blog because I inspired her. I love that my words can encourage others, that perhaps my parenting experiences, or faith can stir something in others. I have a favorite blog of a women who I have never met in person. When I have a challenge with my children, I will search her blog for similar experiences. Her triplets are a few years older than Asher so often she has already walked the challenge I'm currently facing. My point is, she inspires me, she encourages me, and I love it. I love that I have done that for someone else too.

Today, Sarah celebrates one year of blogging!! She is a young woman who works in a very unique setting, she is passionate about her faith, a runner, a friend to many and so much more. Her blog posts are funny and raw. So, today go visit her blog, read a few of her posts, become a follower of hers and ENTER to win her giveaway today!

Happy Blogging.

Numbers.

2010-11-08T14:26:00.000-08:00

285.....the number of slug bugs Asher say yesterday.

five hundred fifty three billion....the amount he loves sports.

4 his age, "5 what I'm turning next, then 6,7,8,9 all the way to a billion," gathering speed as he counts and his arms reaching wide when he says billion!

none, or zero.....the concept his Grandma has been working with him on.

Asher, is really into numbers. He makes things dramatic by using numbers and he talks in numbers at a degree that I don't understand. I love it. I love him. Maybe he will be CPA like his Daddy.

Life lessons.

2010-11-06T15:50:00.000-07:00

Today, Asher attended his first "drop off birthday party" for one of his best friends. We picked out a gift, we dressed in cowboy attire to fit the party theme, and we talked about the pizza, and cake, and games as we drove along. Asher was thrilled to be going but for some reason a little nervous that I would be dropping him off.

When I went to pick up my sweet boy from the party, I was told about some behavior that was not his best. I will spare you the details as they are not the point. The challenge of the afternoon has been how to navigate through what happened, teaching through it, and his consequence. His behavior was a big deal, his heart as we handle it is even a bigger deal. We navigated through tough waters today. Jesse was my team member as we had our family meeting and talked.

There were tears from Asher and even some by me. No Mama wants to be told about bad behavior....but even bigger than that, no Mama wants to see her son hurting because of bad choices and as I watched Asher process naughty choices today my greatest fear was that he would feel rejected and unloved.

Asher headed off to a nap and Jesse and I talked through the next step and how to continue teaching our son as we work through tough behavior.

Asher is a sweet, sweet boy. He is creative. He is thoughtful. He is generous. He has a great memory. He is tender. He feels deeply. And, he is human. He makes mistakes, he makes bad choices, he has a sin nature.

Today, Asher fell into my arms after our talk. I prayed over his sweet heart that God would protect him from rejection. I prayed that Asher would not question our love for him and more importantly God's love for him.

Parenting is hard, life lessons are hard. I'm so very thankful that I have a partner in life to help me navigate these challenging waters....but even more than that I'm thankful for the leading of the Holy Spirit and God's protection over my son.

Luxury Part II.

2010-11-04T19:08:00.000-07:00

I have decided to draw a name from those of you who commented and make your wish come true for 3 months!

And the winner is.................................

Ya right. I wish.

I think about this often. Random fact about Kylie: I HATE my hands. I think they are so ugly. In fact I pray that Cora does not get my hands. Silly I know. So, I would LOVE to get manicures. I also LOVE to have my toes look pretty, but I'm so bad at painting. The only time my toes are pretty is when my friend Carla gets so sick of looking at my sick feet that she files them and paints them. So pedicures would be divine. I would also LOVE to get massages......oh man, one a month? That would be amazing.

However, the thing I absolutely want in my life more than ANYTHING??? A cleaning lady. Even more than I hate my hands I LOATHE cleaning. And, I'm really, really bad at it. My house is picked up, but deep cleaned....um never. Actually Jesse cleans much more than I do.

I would love to have someone clean once a week. In fact, I've even contemplated doing something a few hours a week JUST so I could hire someone to clean. My stomach starts to knot up when I think about cleaning, I'm always looking around my house and thinking, "That is so gross....I have to clean that." And then I come up with a plan....'during the kids' nap times' and then at the next nap time......I just can't do it. It's pathetic I know, I admit it, BUT it's true.

So, someday, maybe when my children are in school and I go back to work, or when Jesse makes a lot of money, then I will get a cleaning lady. And, that my friends, is a day I'm so excited for.

Next question...............How do I get motivated to clean???? :)

***I will say I play a lot with my children and I always hope they remember me getting on the floor, exploring outside, reading, taking field trips, making messes as we do art projects MORE than they remember me cleaning!! And, at this rate.....they will definitely remember us playing more than me cleaning. Ha!

Luxury.

2010-11-02T22:29:00.000-07:00

I'm taking a poll.......

If you could have just ONE luxury in your life what would it be?

Nails? Hair? A weekly massage? A personal trainer? A personal chef? A grocery shopper? An errand runner? A nanny? A cleaning lady? A dog walker? Pedicures? Facials? Or other????

If you had just ONE luxury and money was not an issue.....what would it be?

Leave me a comment with your answer please!?

Halloween and some Ushy Gushy.

2010-11-01T21:55:00.000-07:00

Do you ever have moments in life where you just want to stop time and remember every sight, and smell, and especially sound? On Halloween I felt the need to stop time as Asher and Cora and their friends ran door to door with glee as they collected candy. Mostly it was their laughter that made my heart flutter. But, there was the unison "trick or treat" and the "thank-you's" too, the house with the big candy bars and the house with playdough that earned the greatest cheer from our little ones as they chattered with glee with eyes wide open, it was sweet Cora who was bound and determined to keep up with the older littles and knew to stay close so she wouldn't miss out on one piece of candy.....................

I simply wanted to stop time and record the voices of our children......voices that will change over time, a Halloween tradition of pizza and trick or treating with friends that won't last forever as our children will grow and make new plans with friends in their schools, and mostly the change that is inevitable of Halloween loosing the magic of dress up and becoming more and more about candy.

*This is not a child....it's just the cool Mama who dressed up.

So this year, I treasured our children, my children as they sparkled with glee.....I treasured organizing turns at ringing the door bell and going first. I treasured the swish of the maple leaves under our feet as we walked from house to house, the dad's in the background visiting and the moms laughing at our children.

* It was Asher's idea to dress up as a knight and for Cora to be his princess to "tect" (protect).

It seems silly to get gushy over a holiday whose roots are dark and where costumes can be evil and scary. I think because I love the world of costume and imagination and I LOVE time with friends and their children that it was easy "to suck the marrow out of life" (as my favorite blogger says) out of our 2.5 hours of fun last night.

As we walked back to the house after our two whole blocks of candy getting, Asher could hardly wait...."my bucket is heavy and I just want to eat some candy now." Oh I hope I remember that line when he is 10 and is driven by the desire to get as much candy as possible......although even then I hope, no I know I will enjoy that phase too.....I will jump in as the Mom who drives them from neighborhood to neighborhood laughing at their not-so-funny jokes and helping them in their candy endeavors.

*If you know Asher at all......then you know he was THRILLED at the theme of these costumes. It made his night to have things work together in such a perfect way! People at the houses loved our un-planned theme. Dragon played by Joshie Yakos.

We ended the night with the adults sipping on small cups of coffee to keep our energy equal to our childrens, and our kids enjoying piecies of candy, examining their loot, handing out candy toother trick or treaters, and listening to ghost stories.....that weren't really ghost stories.

*The kids were captivated by this story.....Asher was nervous!

Oh how I wish I could share the squeals that accompanied this next picture......it was awesome as our children screamed in unison with the story teller. It stirred up ideas in the kids' ideas as they passed the flashlight each sharing a "scary story" of their own!

*Asher informed me today that he will never stay at a hotel again because of the story Josh told. My sweet sensitive boy.

We packed a lot into 2.5 hours last night! I drank in the sounds, and the sights and I hope that as I have written a piece of it down, it will help me remember these treasured moments in the years to come!

The week of sugar!

2010-10-30T15:52:00.000-07:00

My friend Booba and I were texting back and forth the other day about the craziness of Halloween week! Although we were loving our children in their costumes and loving how worn out they were getting we could see the week of sugar was going to be a looooong week. And a long week it has been......

I love dress up! So, although Halloween may not be my favorite holiday and I absolutely don't like scary costumes, I love an excuse to buy something that will spark imagination and creativity.

Asher wanted to be a "real cowboy" for Halloween. We were pretty set on finding that costume when one day he said, "Mama I want to be a knight and Cora can be my princess that I protect and Daddy could be the dragon I fight!" It was settles.....a knight and a princess was the theme. I really, and still really want Cora to be a lady bug.......but oh well.

We attended an AWANA Harvest Party at our church, and then Asher had a party at his pre-school. We have been in costume at grocery stores and around the neighborhood. It's been a costume week. I love watching Asher play make believe.....his sword seems real, his shield a protector and his helmet makes him feel very, very cool.

Tomorrow we will go door to door with Asher's friends in my parents neighborhood and I'm sure I will have more pictures to post!

Our sweet little princess.

A princess and her pizza!

Knight Asher and his friends Will and Hunter.

Playing Golf. I LOVE Asher's cape!

Asher's pre-school class. I wasn't planning on staying at pre-school but Asher insisted. So Cora and the two children I watch came along. It was busy 2.5 hours......keeping little girls entertained and away from the big kids while making Asher feel special. I was sweating by the end!

Cora loved the toys in his classroom.

Asher A, my Asher and Ryle. Ryle is one of Asher's favorite friends at pre-school!

Here is the cookie that Asher decorated!

At most meals Asher is the last one to finish. Often we have to set a timer that reminds him to keep eating and if he the timer goes off before breakfast is done we have big tears as he looses the privilege of playing with a few of his favorite animals. However, when it comes to sugar he has no problem.......he was the first done at pre-school!

The children marched around the room to a song.....this was surprisingly the favorite part of the day for the entire class.

Cora was observing Asher's every move.....the first song she just stared at him marching.....

By the 2nd song she joined in!

Here is my happy marcher.....oh I think he is cute!

Have a great weekend!

Date and an ER visit?!

2010-10-25T08:41:00.000-07:00

I didn't pick up my camera one time in my week of being sick! I had planned to hit our college campus getting pictures of my children in the leaves.....I also planned on having milk in my fridge and I didn't do that either.

I'm so happy it's Monday and we begin a new week!

Last night Jesse and I planned to have 6 hours of just us time.....dinner, Barnes and Noble perusing, and a movie. However, shortly after our dinner my mom called with reports of a mass on Asher's neck that was rapidly increasing in size. We rushed to my parents and after talking to our medical friends we decided it was best to take him in. My gut: a swollen lymph node or gland. My concern: how quickly it was swelling and the stiff neck it was causing.

It was our first ER trip with children. It was actually pretty quick and indeed he has an infected lymph node and started on an anti biotic last night.

Our date night turned even more expensive but in the scheme of things.....we are so blessed to have medical care in this country, and I'm thankful that I have sweet children and I'm so very happy to parent above enjoying time on a date because I love Asher and Cora so deeply.

Next post....pictures!

85%

2010-10-24T14:33:00.000-07:00

Oh my it's so good to be feeling better. I'm at about 85% which is such an improvement from last week. It was horrible. I wouldn't wish my week on my worst enemy......I don't have enemies but if I did......well, I don't think I have enemies.....

Anyway, after a week of canceling on commitments, letting laundry and house work pile up, I think I am finally getting on top of things. There is still yard work that was on our to-do list, cooking, house projects but those can wait. I'm just so happy to be feeling almost normal again.....and being able to hug and kiss and enjoy my children again is delightful!

And tonight......date night from Jesse. This week I woke to a card with a coupon for dinner and a movie on Sunday evening. Normally those sweet notes melt my heart. However, the idea of eating was enough to make me gag and the idea of being away from my bed for hours to sit in a restaurant and talk put me over the edge. I wanted to rip up the coupon. But, I'm well enough for this MUCH needed date! And, I can't wait!

You know your sick when.....

2010-10-21T16:08:00.000-07:00

You know your sick when...........

When you go to bed at 9pm freezing and shivering with 2 down comfortors, sweats, a sweatshirt and socks on you.
You text the people whose children you watch at 4am telling them you might die.
You set an alarm to pick up you son from pre-school because you know you are going to fall asleep and when it goes off you snooze it knowing that you will be late. But it feels like that 5 more minutes will turn the day around, but it doesn't.
When during pre-school time you let your daughter do whatever she wants for two hours. At one point you open you eyes and see her playing with almost but not quite empty cups of yogurt.....smearing the remains on your leather couch and floor but you don't care, becuase she is happy so you close your eyes and go back to sleep. She cries and asks you to play and you ignore her.
When you return from pre-school you ask your son to shut the hazardous doors....something you were too weak to do earlier and he complies. Then you ask him to take his sisters coat off and he tackles her to ground making her cry but he gets the coat off and you just lay there watching it all unfold.
When you feel like there are needles in your throat and every time you swallow they go into your neck.
When you have to text your husband who is laying in bed next to you with the same thing because it hurts so damn bad to talk.
When you wish your daughters favorite thing was NOT reading books because it kills so much to speak!
When you talk you start to gag.
When your daughter is playing with pens with some of the caps off in your bedroom and you just watch her because again she is entertained and you can just lie still.
When you start to cry because you are sick of eating soup out of a can but too miserable to go to the store to get ingredients to make chicken noodle soup.
When you start to cry because your blog post is SO incredilbly pathetic.

Here to hoping tomorrow is a little better. I'm supposed to be watching 8 children (including my own) 6 of those overnight and having a super fun weekend.

Running, Racing, and Recking.

2010-10-17T15:09:00.000-07:00

I know, I know, recking is spelled wrong it's wrecking but I needed an "R" word.

This summer my friend Carla and I began running, then she hurt her knee so I started to run with my friend Keegan, then she hurt her shins and feet, and so I was desperate for a running partner. I don't run by myself. I.hate.it. A lot. I needed a friend, I needed someone to talk to too, I needed a girl. But, there was no one. So I ate some humble pie and started running with my husband. He runs people, I just jog for 20 to 30 min and I'm done....but he, well he, really runs. For example he ran a marathon and went on 4 training runs before. Another example, he ran a half marathon last summer after not running one time in the 9 months before. He is built to run. I feel awkward but I'm desperate so now we run.

We have been borrowing a jogging stroller but needed to return it so we spent money on a BOB....the Cadillac of jogging strollers. We purchased it used for a good deal. We are running on average 4 times a week so we really are making use of this stroller. We run after work or in the morning on the weekends. We catch up on our days, play eye spy, sing......in all honestly it's become a really cool thing we do as a family.

On Saturday our family had our first race day! All of us participated. Asher ran 400 meters in the pumpkin run. He ran the whole way!!

Here is Cora waiting at the finish line for her brother. It was FREEZING out!

Here is Asher coming towards the finish line!

It was cold, but so beautiful out!

Asher loves to hear his Daddy tell stories about running! How perfect to run his first race with his Daddy.

Almost there!

And he does it!

After picking out his pumpkin and some fruit snacks we headed to the start of our 5k. The children were bundled up, Cora's hands were like ice and we were all feeling a little frazzled as we headed from one place to the next. I thought my ankles were sprained they hurt so bad when we started running....but I figured out it was just because they were so cold. We all felt a little like this:

My goal was to run my miles in under 9:40. I wanted to finish the race under 30 minutes. It was packed with people and it was hard to get around others. But, it was really fun to be with other people, hearing the beating of feet against the concrete and the deep breathing with steam coming from the runners mouths. And then, Cora got mad. So Jesse suggested I keep going while he pulled over for Cora and that he would catch me....remember he is much, much faster than me. So I kept going and going and going. I kept waiting for him to catch me and then there was the finish line. So I finished and the race officials were a little annoyed with me because I didn't have my race tag. Jesse had it and I was planning on being with him the whole race and my hands were so cold I couldn't pin my tag on! So, my first race and I was in trouble. Ugh. But, my time was good. I met my goal. I ran it in 28 something. And then I waited, and waited, and waited.

After a while I knew something was up.....it was too long for Jesse not to be at the finish. I figured Cora completely melted down and Jesse bailed. I kept looking down the trail, straining to find my family. And then I saw Jesse carrying Cora in her bright pink coat. My thought:- Oh they picked up Oliver (a little boy we know) who maybe wrecked on his bike......and then I saw a women carrying Asher in her arms, and then I saw two people by the stroller. My heart sank and I knew something was really wrong. I ran down the trail to get to them. Asher's nose was bleeding, there were cuts and scrapes all over, his lips were shredded and huge. Cora had a fat lip that was showing behind her binky and Jesse was pale. I looked from Cora, to Asher, to Jesse over and over trying to figure out what happened. When the kids saw me they burst into tears all over again. Asher was handed to me and my eyes met Jesse's, "The stroller collapsed, the front wheel popped off, we all went down."

My stomach sank. The amazing, expensive BOB stroller collapsed?! The wheel came off!!? My mind was racing. But mostly, I was sick for my kids and husband. Sick that I wasn't there when it happened. I looked at the people who had helped my family. I thanked them. They stopped their race and walked a mile with my family, comforting my children, being a good village to my most precious things. In retrospect I wish that I would have looked them in the eye more deeply when I thanked them, I wish that I would have hugged the woman who took turns with Jesse carrying Asher and Cora, I wish that I could write them a thank you note. But, instead I just am filled with thankfulness for them. Thankful for the wonderful town I live in, for the good people who live here.

We walked to the finish line in a daze. I was carrying both of my kids. People kept asking if they were OK, one woman had blood all over her hands and I asked what happened. She answered, "It's your little boys blood, let me find you some more kleenex.." I assured her Asher had clean blood.

We headed to the car. I looked at the stroller, our cell phones were in pieces....thankfully they still work although I can hardly hear when people are talking on mine, our keys were in the seats as they had flown from their pockets, it was obvious that people had just randomly thrown our items back into the stroller after picking them up from the ground.

We loaded up, headed to the store for Popsicle's to "ice" Asher's face and for a movie so we could lay low. Jesse was obviously shaken. Today he has a huge welt that is many colors on his leg, Asher has bruises across his thighs, and most foods burn his mouth. He had a Popsicle for breakfast because it's one of the few things he can eat.

Each time I look at his sweet face I'm reminded at how much worse it could have been, yet how bad it really was. Asher thought a tree fell on them. The accident was so sudden. We plan to run again tomorrow to beat the fear that Asher has. We know now that our front wheel should have been locked. We prayed for Asher and for the trauma he experienced. Yesterday was quite a day, a good day, a sad day, a day that brought perspective. I'm so very, very thankful for my family.

Asher's face. (This was after 4 Popsicles. His lips were 3 times this size at the beginning.

And, to end on a good note....here is Cora in her cute running suit!

Homecoming.

2010-10-16T16:39:00.000-07:00

Homecoming is a tradition around here! We attend the parade, eat cinnamon rolls, crab apples, and special hot chocolate made by Grandma Mary Anne and then we watch the floats while cheering, visiting, waving, and, catching candy as we bounce in our place to stay warm, dressed in our Griz wear until the sun comes out and then we begin shedding layers of clothing. After the parade we watch the game as we cheer for the Grizzlies, our local college football team. Maroon fills Higgins avenue and the common denomanator among everyone is "our" team.

This is just one more reason we love living in Missoula!

This year we were able to attend the game and we were able to invite 6 other people, and we were provided a tailgate for 20! All thanks to Asher whining. If you didn't catch the story read it here.

Here is our day in pictures!! What a fun day it was.

The U of M band....starting off the parade!

Monte our mascot!

Asher holding his bike helmet for candy collecting! He LOVES the parade!

Cora loving something and hanging with Papa Jim.

Nothing like some fall snot in the crisp morning air! It goes hand and hand with children!

After the parade we headed to "our" tailgate!

Here is Cora enjoying the Motor Home! It was incredible....leather furniture, two bathrooms, it was beautiful. Cora only came to the pre-game before heading home with Papa for her nap.

Asher sat in this spot the entire pre-game. He ate food and people watched out the window for at least an hour. He is so much like me in this area....we LOVE to just watch people. Asher LOVED the entire day!

Lovin' some chicken!

Our friends JB and Gypsy came to the tailgate! They made the party!!

We start our children early.....not really but it fit perfect at a tail gate party. Ha!

Pre-Game! Benny the Bull was there! Asher was THRILLED about this. He (the person in side him) used to be Monte so he comes to our homecoming game!

Finaly, a group shot of our family! I wish we would have taken pictures of the Hartzells who attended the game with us. If we win again next year....we will do it then! :)

More on Asher.

2010-10-08T13:17:00.000-07:00

It seems like Asherisms may come in waves now because since I lasted posted....I could have written something every day about him!

On Tuesday night we went to the Squires. Long ago when we had 1 child and they had 3 we would have "small group" EVERY week. I would watch their children all day Thursday, cook them a meal, and then we would hang out together in the evening, put the kids to bed and then watch ER and The Office together while sipping coffee. Then we both got pregnant and we continued the tradition with our backs aching as we sat on their very *comfortable couch. We rarely left before midnight. 11:30 was a good night.

*I loved their couch, then hated it while pregnant, and now I like it again. (If you wanted to know).

Now with 3 baby ladies added to the picture we have canceled small group forever. Just one night of doing it, I was exhausted.

Anyway....back to Asher. He was playing on the couch, walking a long it when I heard screams and tears and a the I saw a contorted body that looked like it was in pain. His foot had slipped between two of the cushions and was stuck. I couldn't get it out and his crying became louder and it was really obvious he was hurting. I kept saying, "It's gonna be OK, It's gonna be OK." Suddenly over the chaos of other loud children, Asher yells in absolute seriousness, "I'm gonna Diiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiie!" I assured him saying, "You are not going to die buddy, it's gonna be OK," as I finally freed his foot. It was a whole 30 seconds tops ordeal. As I was comforting him, and Carla was getting him ice I couldn't stop laughing. And then Andrew piped up from the kitchen, "You guys are laughing but I know you have both said that before." I ignored him.....but really it's true. I have a dramatic flair and so.does.Asher.

We have been working with Asher to not smother Cora. He is always touching her, grabbing her, patting her hed, trying to hold her and probably 5 times a day I say, "Please stop smothering Cora." I've also added to that statement, "The ONLY time you are allowed to smother her is IF she is in danger and we are not around. But, that is the ONLY time."

Last week while spending time with Grandma Suzanne they were visiting with a woman at an office. She asked Asher is he is a good big brother and he answered, "Yes! I smother Cora!"

I think he is confused.

Asher had a sleepover a few ago with Hunter. Hunter has a bedroom in the basement all alone. I wondered how Asher would do. Well, Hunter was very excited to have Asher there and kept trying to sleep with Asher on the big queen size blow up mattress but Asher would have none of that. Finally he said to Booba, "I just like to sleep alone." So, Asher slept in the basement all alone, all night. Last night he was sleeping in the basement at the Hartzells with William. Jesse and I were upstairs. He came up 2 different times begging me to have William sleep in his own room because he just can't sleep when others are breathing, and talking. William (who normally sleeps upstairs) was FREAKING out that I was going to make him sleep alone in the basement. Oh boy...shouldn't Asher be scared of dark, big basements? Huh.

And because this post is already too long I will not bore you the 3 other Asher stories I have. Maybe next time.

Off to Market we go!

2010-10-06T15:46:00.000-07:00

Our Saturday's during the summer and early fall are reserved for our local farmers market as a family. We go from jammies to clothes and hit the bike buddy or the stroller....well the kids do that and we either bike or run to market. It's wonderful to buy fresh veggies, to run into people we know, to sip a latte in the morning sun, munching on fresh baked pastries, to plan our meals as a family each throwing in vegetable requests for the week, picking out the perfect ear of corn, and of course buying our weekly bunch of fresh carrots that we begin to devour the moment they are purchased.

I have always wanted to walk through market and take pictures. But between juggling children on my hip, to pushing a stroller if we have one, to holding a latte, pastry, and bags for produce not the mention the people we see that we want to visit with it seems like an stressful endeavor.

This summer in Oregon I took advantage of 5 other adults to help with my children (Jesse, my parents and aunt and uncle), I took advantage of not buying produce and instead I brought my camera....I had already finished my coffee and eaten breakfast at a local Portland cafe. I messed with my ISO, my aperture, and I didn't shoot ONE picture in my automatic setting nor did I use my flash. It was a fun challenge and although many, many, many pictures were awful...here are a few of my favorites.

Asher could eat all of these carrots in a week!

Oh fennel....how I LOVE to eat you.

There were berries everywhere....so cheap....so good.

* All produce is grown within 50 miles of the market. Very cool!

Asherisms.

2010-09-27T21:22:00.000-07:00

Wow it has been a long time....too long in fact. But, Asherisms have become few and far between. But here are a few.

Last night while having our monthly hangout meal with Kay (Jesse's Missoula Mama) she asked Asher how he got to be so cute.

Asher replied, "I don't like when people call me cute. I'm cool."

This morning the cute topic came back up and Asher said, "When people call me cute, like you and Grandma and Papa and Daddy, well it just makes me want to throw up....it just makes me feel like that." This coming from the child who has not thrown up EVER, not once!

Asher has taken the game of pretend to a whole new level. He talks for his animals and when playing with his friends he will, "ya and then tend (pretend) that I came over here, and was crying because the cow died, and then tend that we checked on the cow and it was OK." I so, remember playing pretend like that as a little girl!

Finally, Asher has a new excuse to get out of bed besides the usual, water, potty, bad dream. It goes something like this.

Me: What's up Asher, why are you out of bed sweetie?
A: Oh Mama, I said a really, really, bad word.
Me: Oh no! Well, thanks for being honest and telling me. What did you say?
A: I can't even tell you, it was really, really bad.
Me: Asher, you can tell me. I don't want you to say bad words but I would like to know so we can talk about it.
A: OK but it's really bad. I said...........(low, quiet voice, eyes looking at the floor) fart.
Me: Well, thank you for telling me. Let's not say that but I'm proud of your honesty. Good night. (All said while trying to maintain a straight face)

Cora....the winner.

2010-09-23T22:13:00.000-07:00

Oh how I love this little girl!

And because of her we have a SWEET weekend ahead of us!

On Tuesday night after hearing about Jesse's incredilbe test news we headed to the mall for a cheap dinner, the pet store, toy store, train play area and finally ice cream!

As were were heading home after lots of giggles....well Cora was actually in tears because she inhaled her ice cream and wanted ours....but the rest of us were happy we saw a table with a raffle to see our University football team this weekend. We stopped and put our names in thinking about how fun it would be to win. I filled one out for Asher and we started to leave.

Asher began whining....an ulgy whine.....where tears are soon to follow. This is a whine I generally have little tolerance for BUT I was feeling the need to keep our night upbeat so I gave into his request to fill out another tag with Cora's name.

Today at 4:30 I received a call that Cora's name was drawn.

So, on Saturday we will enjoy an RV complete with TV's, food, and drinks, 8 tickets to the football game and a ton of other random bits including a 100.00 gift certificate to the mall ALL because Asher whined and I put Cora's name in.

Can you believe that? I'm still in shock. But, mostly full of thankfulness. Asher really wanted to go to a football game, I actually really need a few things from the mall and overall it's just going to be a fun experience. I can't help but thank God for a sweet little gift during a season where we are living simply and frugally. Thanks God. And thanks Asher for whining??? Hmmm.

And, we are done.

2010-09-21T14:15:00.000-07:00

Today, we recieved news that Jesse passed all of his CPA exams on the first try! We are completely finished with the school chapter of our lives. It feels awesome. I say "we" because we truly did this as a family.

The national pass rates are 46% for EACH test. It's truly amazing that Jesse passed all four tests his first time around. I couldn't be more happy or more proud of my husband.

Now, we are onto the next chapter of our life. Jesse has begun work, I'm watching children and Jesse is looking for a 2nd job. The intensity of school won't be knocking at our door until tax season comes and even though with a 2nd job and long hours the kids and I will still see Jesse a lot more than we did last year. For that....I'm so grateful.

More on Cora.

2010-09-15T23:13:00.000-07:00

Today, Cora woke up and headed straight for Asher's room. She picked up one of his toy guns (that we use exclusively for pretend hunting) and one of his swords. She then proceeded to make shooting noises and chopping noises as she moved about the house.

I giggled as she walked around in her cute girly hair and her flaired, ruffled bottom pants. She looks like a girl but is acting like her big brother.

We ran a few errands and when we returned it was nap time. When she woke from her nap we snuggled as she nursed and then we hugged and kissed....oh how I love her open mouth kisses! Anyway....after our snuggle time she was off. I tried to engage with her and play toys in her room but she pushed me away and headed straight to Asher's room where once again she picked up the gun and sword.

Besides dinner and time in the stroller so we could go for a quick run, Cora held her two weapons from her nap time to bedtime. She is a bit unsteady still as she walks....just imagine her sword in front of her as she staggers like she is a bit tipsy shooting and hitting things.

I LOVE this sweet girl and although I love every moment of her infant hood I'm excited to see what she is likes when she is older.

Death.

2010-09-13T21:41:00.000-07:00

Recently Asher has been asking a lot of questions about death and dying. What will happen? How it will happen? How he doesn't want it to happen. I find myself being asked very hard questions by a 4 year old. I want to be careful to not give too much information yet, I want to give enough information for him to be satisfied.

I have one grandparent who is still alive. She is getting older and is struggling with dementia. It's very sad to see her struggling to remember names, struggling to remember the simplest of things. I think Asher has noticed too. Grandma Gerry doesn't realize how old Asher is and what he is capable of. She is often bossing him around, trying to help him walk down steps, stopping him from going outside....all things that he can do on his own. Last night, Asher became very frustrated and pushed her hand away. I quickly stepped in and helped solve the problem. I pulled Asher away to talk with him about how it's OK to be frustrated but that he absolutely needed to treat Grandma Gerry with respect and I explained that her brain doesn't always work right. He responded, "Will she die?" "Well yes, eventually she will, but it probably won't be for awhile." I said. I felt my mind racing to make sure I was truthful yet realistic, watching as the reality of death was in my sons face in a new way. Asher replied, "Well I will miss her and I won't see my Grandma Gerry and that will be sad." "Yes, it will be sad Asher, but we will always be able to think of her." I answered.

He thought about my answer and after a moment I could see that he was done talking about the situation. I reminded Asher to respect Grandma Gerry and not talk to her about her death (I could just see him bring it up to her which would really confuse her!).

Today while spending time with Asher he brought up my death....when will you die Mama? I don't want you to ever die Mama, I will miss you. Mommy how will I find you in heaven when you die? Oh these questions hit my heart hard. I'm not sick, I'm healthy, most likely I won't die for a loooong time but as I answer them I'm careful to not make promises I ultimately cannot keep.

I'm so thankful that God knows the hours and days of our life. That He is in control and that we can have trust in Him. Ultimately that is the only thing I have to tell Asher and it gives him such peace. These questions by 4 year old's can be so hard to answer and can catch me off guard! I can only imagine what lies ahead.

Cause my Daddy is a CPA.....

2010-09-10T22:20:00.000-07:00

I wanted to put some statistics up cause he loves numbers so much.

I weigh 20 lbs 3 oz. I'm in the 10th-25th percentile

I'm 30 in tall. I'm in the 50th percentile.

My head is large....it's in the 75th percentile. I'm a little embarrassed about my fat head.

I make a lot of faces during the day. Do you wanna see some?

This is my, "Are you kidding me? Whatever you just took away from me is my most prized possession, I'm going to die if you don't give it back to me" face.

This is my, "You didn't give it back to me, so I'm so mad I'm going to rip the pretties out of my hair to show you" face. (My mama doesn't like this one AT.all.)

This is my, "I'm staring into space" face. Sometimes I just need a break.

This is one of my many "funny faces." I have so many faces like this I'm pretty talented.

And finally, this is my "I'm such a silly girl with such a great smile" face. My Mama loves this one, even though I have chocolate all over my face!

I'm still nursing 3 times a day....don't make fun of me, I like my snuggle time with my Mama.

I can say A LOT of words.

I take one nap a day and I LOVE my gigi's so very, very much. I still like my binkie too.

I walk everywhere now.

I've started throwing fits.....I'm supposed to be working on my self control but it's hard when you are 15 months old and I'm just very sensitive.

When I'm mad or if I'm not getting the attention I want I rip the pretties out of my hair. I just can't stop myself. I always get in a little trouble for it but it works....I get their attention.

My ba-ba (brother) is my best friend. I love to play with him and to be by him, but he does tell our Mama when I'm ripping the pretties out of my hair and I just wish he would be on my side!

I like strangers a lot....I always say "hi" in a high pitched voice with a big grin on my face....but if they try to touch me it makes me mad. My Mama thinks it's a little game I play.

My Mama and Daddy really like to watch me and giggle at me....they always talk about how cute and funny I am....I'm trying not to let it go to my head.